Waiting for Sunrise
by CharryBlossom
Summary: About three things I was absolutely positive:First, Beau Clearwater was Jacob's son. Second, he was hybrid just like me. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
1. An Uncomfortable Truth

This is a story about Renesme and how she fell in love with the wrong person. First Chapters...

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It was a rainy night when Seth Clearwater called Jacob. He, Bella, Edward and I were in the living room of our white little cottage chatting just to pass time. Jacob was worried. Sue Clearwater, Seth's mother, was in Seattle, interned in some hospital. She was dying, we all knew it. What worried him was that she specifically wanted to talk to him that night. She had a feeling she was going to die. Edward thought it was dangerous for us to leave, given the weather and other ideas in his head, but Bella came with us just for him to be calm. I had to be there for Jacob. It was a three hour drive until Seattle, but we were afraid she might die in the mean time so we ran.

Seth was waiting for us on the hallway; nervously pacing from left to right.

"Jacob, thank you for coming," he said ignoring me and Bella.

"Hello, Seth," Bella said. For some reason she had always liked him.

"Hi," Seth turned his attention to us.

Sue was in a much better state than I expected. I was expecting to see her barely breathing and connected to at least five monitors. Instead she was sitting on the bed smoothing the edges of the blue sheet covering her.

"Ah, Jacob, you came," she peacefully said. "And you brought your friends," she looked at us. "Splendid."

"Hello to you too, Sue," Jacob said.

"You are probably wondering why I called for you. Well, as you know I'm not going to live any longer so-"

"Don't say that," Jake interrupted her.

"Well thank you, dear. But it's impolite to interrupted someone, especially if that person is dying," she smiled. "I have called you here not for me, but for my daughter."

"Leah," I heard Jacob breathe. I could feel the nostalgia in his voice. It did not bother me. He told me that they used to be close. I didn't know much about her, just that she left something like twenty years ago.

"Yes, Leah. As you know she left twenty three years ago for California and never returned. I occasionally visited her. What I need to tell you all is that she was pregnant."

"What?" Seth reacted. "How could you not tell me, mom?"

My Jacob had the same reaction. It was funny. I was not that affected and neither was Bella. I could see her studying the blue tiles on the floor. Good for her. Jacob had told me about her doubts of fertility. Maybe she imprinted.

"Because then Jacob would have found out," Sue peacefully said.

"Find out what?" my mother asked, her voice was even.

"That he is the father," Sue smiled to Bella.

She didn't seem as shocked as I was, more like expecting it, since she returned to her study.

"What?!" Both Jacob and Seth reacted. "What are you saying there?"

"How could you keep that away from me?" Seth asked, his question directed to both Sue and Jacob.

I had a lot of questions, but I knew better than to interrupt the old lady. First of all I did have some respect.

"Shut up," I said and followed Sue with my eyes.

"Don't pretend that you don't know how, Jacob," Sue said. "Although Leah would have wanted you not to remember. That was the exact reason why she left. She could not bring up a child in a twisted little place like La Push or Forks. And she didn't want to…change our lives; your life."

"Nessie, I'm so sorry," Jacob looked at me. I could not look at him.

"You should have thought about it before you- Gah!" Bella was very angry.

"You knew?" I asked her.

"Not of the child," she said. "But Edward saw…things in his mind," she harshly looked at Jacob.

"I didn't know! It was a long time ago. You were only a child, Nessie! It was the only time and-"Jacob started excusing himself.

I blocked away all his words. How could this be happening? "And what do you want me to do?!" I spat.

"Please, just understand," he tried coming up to me, but I maintained a distance.

"Well, actually," Sue cleared her voice. "It is not about either of you. It's about Leah. After my funeral she needs to come back. I'm not sure she can manage on her own. Seth, you are allowed to call her."

Seth left the room.

"The child is a twenty three year old perfectly healthy shapeshifter. He could phase ever since he was five and stopped changing since he turned sixteen when he looked like he was twenty five or something," she smiled.

"So it survived?" Jacob asked.

"Don't be an idiot!" I heard Bella. "It's a he, not an it. He is a…" she looked for her words. "Person, just like all of us."

"It sure did. Jacob, if you could look after them in you spare time…" Sue trailed off.

He looked at me. I wasn't about to let him say no.

"Of course I will."

"I've called Leah," Seth came back in the room. "She is very upset, but is getting on the next plane to Seattle."

"Wonderful," Sue coughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to have a word with my son?" she looked at the three of us.

"Sure," I was the first one to speak. "We'll be at the cafeteria."

I was the first one to get out of the room. Not necessarily because of what Sue Clearwater had just said, but I felt something; a smell. It was the smell of death. I propped my hand against the wall and looked down at my feet. It felt sick.

"Are you okay?" Bella came next to me and placed a hand on my bag rubbing circles around it.

"Yes, I'm fine. Did you feel it too?" I asked her.

She nodded. It must have been worse for her since she was a full vampire, or so to say.

"I need some coffee," I said.

"Are you sure, Renesme?" she asked me.

I looked over her shoulder. Jacob was there with an anxious look on his face. Given the situation I did not pity him.

"I'm sure," I answered.

We all silently walked to the cafeteria. It was almost empty except for a bunch on interns. I sank in my seat as I waited for Jacob to bring us some coffee. I took the cup and breathed in the refreshing scent. I held it in my hand for a moment. It was so warm. Jacob was pleadingly staring at me from across the table. I rolled my eyes. I needed to talk to him. I wanted to talk to him, but not with Bella there. It was just something private. She sensed it, I think.

"I'm going to call Edward," she got up and left us.

"What have you done, Jacob?" I asked him.

"I'm so sorry," he almost cried. "I love you, Nessie. I swear I do. I loved you then, it's just that-"

"Jacob," I placed the coffee mug on the table. "How should I put it," I clicked my tongue. "I do not doubt your love, but how could you let her go?"

He gave me a strange look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Leah. It's not about me and it's not about you. It's about Leah and your…son," I said. "How could you let her go just like that, without checking if she was pregnant?"

"I…well we did talk…after it. And she explicitly said she wanted to hear nothing from me and that she will go away. She said she didn't want a complicated life."

A horrible thought passed my mind. "You don't think that she knew she was pregnant before she left?"

"Leah?" he had an outraged expression. "She would have never done this to me. No. She didn't know," he said. "Or…" he looked me in the eye. He nodded.

I shook my head, my auburn hair dangling in all possible directions.

"Hey," his hand outstretched across the table; palm opened.

I gave him my hand. His thumb brushed over my knuckles. I smiled at him.

"Nessie, my Nessie," he had that idiotic look again, but it didn't bother me that much.

His finger on the golden engagement ring he gave me and suddenly it felt more heavy than usual. I bit my lower lip; my brows furrowing for a moment. I felt the need to pull away my hand, but he didn't let me. Gently, he kissed it, and then we both rose over the table and kissed.

"I love you," he sweetly said.

I smiled. I mean I could have told him that I loved him, but I wasn't that good at it. It probably would have sounded as if I was hardly spitting it out, with the excitement and all.

I felt calmer. I was going to be there for Jacob and his child and well also Leah. What worried me more was that I wasn't jealous at all.

"Sue…" we heard Bella's voice. "She passed away," she finished. "I…I spoke with Edward. He wants us home now," she narrowed her eyes at Jacob.

"Seth needs me. I can't leave with you." We both got up. "You take care of her?"

"I always do," Bella was unnecessarily overprotective. I'm afraid of Edward's reaction.

"Okay, then. Let's go," I pulled my raincoat on me.

Bella went ahead. It gave me time to give Jacob a quick kiss before leaving with her.

Outside the rain stopped.

"Want to go eat somewhere?" Bella asked me when we were in front of the hospital.

"Nah..." I said looking up at the cloudy sky. "I would like to get home and sleep."

"Okay," she nodded and we speeded back home.

Dad opened the door before we even got there. He was angry. I could see flames of fire in his honey golden eyes.

"How could he-"he wanted to start yelling, but something in Bella's look stopped him.

He probably realized that I didn't need that now. Bella could fill him in on my decision or he could read it in my mind. I couldn't careless, which is why he probably snarled.

"I'm going to bed now," I said and went upstairs to my room.

I hopped onto to the bed. I had a strange feeling; I guess you could call it heat. The moon was high on the sky and it pierced through the windows reflecting on the white wall. I kept thinking about Jacob's child. And then it hit. He wasn't exactly a child. I mean he was twenty and I'm sure he looked like an adult ever since he was sixteen. Oh dear, this is going to be far more complicated than I had imagined.


	2. Early Twilight

I wanted to go to the funeral. Apparently I was the only one, since my family didn't agree with it and neither did Jacob. Given the situation he said he didn't need anymore tension and that it was best for me to wait. I had told him that I wanted to be there for him. He said that I am; I always am. Actually, I think I'm more curious about Leah and her child than anything else.

That day Rosalie and Alice came by. Everybody seemed to be upset except me.

"That's what you get for involving yourself with dogs," Alice said. She was angry since at the beginning she really wanted to give them a chance.

"Jacob was a bastard, that's what he was. I liar and a cheater," Bella continued.

"I really don't mind. All I care about is his love for me," I said. "That never changed and it's all that matters. Jacob made a mistake. He needs our help," I defended him.

"You're his imprint, kid. You don't really get a saying in this," Alice looked at me. I turned my attention to the plants at the window, a childish pout on my face. "I'm just messing with you. Of course, we'll try to help you in any way. Just keep it mind that we're doing this for you."

"Bella, can you please reason with Edward?" I asked her.

"I don't know what to say, Renesme," she turned her attention to me. "I stopped him last night from not going out and hunting Jacob until the other end of the world. I am not sure if I can keep him any longer."

I felt uneasy. I still hadn't spoke to Edward and I was not so sure if I wanted to. It was easy he could read my mind and he couldn't reproach anything to me. I was afraid of that because he used to have this talent of finding loopholes in everything and using them in his advantage. And he really wanted Jacob away from the house and from our lives. Bella wasn't about to allow that and neither was I.

"There's still a good part in all of this," Rosalie said while twirling a strand of hair on her finger.

"What?" Bella skeptically asked her.

"Leah can after all have babies," she answered.

We all looked at her waiting for a continuation.

"I didn't say it was good for you. I said it was good for her. It's…" she searched for the right words. "Priceless."

She then looked down at her feet. We all knew about Rosalie's sensitivity towards children and how badly she had wanted them. I think I understand. I haven't really thought about it, but maybe I would like to have a child. We weren't sure if it was possible and I had never discussed about it with Jacob. Not that he will have to worry now. He already has his child.

'Oh, Rose," Alice hugged her.

Bella smiled and proudly looked at me. I was her pride, no doubt. I was the living truth of her love for Edward. I was proof that she deserved everything she got. It sometimes annoyed me. I knew she loved Edward more than she loved me. That was no secret.

"I'm wondering," Alice soprano voice shook me from my thoughts. "Will these past events affect the wedding plans?"

Her question was directed to me and I wish I could have fended it off. "I don't know…" I replied. She gave me a disbelieving look. "It is," there was no point in lying to myself. "What do you think?"

Alice narrowed her eyes. "I still see it happening, just…"

"What?" I asked.

"I can't see anything before it. You know, like preparations and stuff I had planned. I can't see them clearly and I think it is because of you."

"Me?" I looked at her with a concerned look.

"Yes, it's like you're absent when these things are happening."

"Alice, she can't be absent when she is trying on her dress?" Rosalie pointed out.

"Well it doesn't matter. In the end they will get married," Bella said. "And how happy is Edward going to be…" she added more for herself.

Alice shrugged.

"It's not like I can't get married without a dress," I said. Alice death glared at me. "Or maybe not…" I smiled.

"Unhand me!" we heard Jacob's cry.

"Who said you were aloud to come back here?" we then heard Edward's voice.

I got out of the house.

"Edward!" I called from the porch. He was holding Jacob one foot above the ground gripping his neck. "Stop it," I said.

"Why, so he can go around knocking girls up?" Edward was furious I could tell by the words he was using. It wasn't his manner of speaking.

"Please," I said.

"You heard her," Jacob said in a hoarse voice.

Edward dropped him. He fell to ground making a loud and disturbing thud. The earth quaked a little.

"Nessie," he said. I was halfway to them.

"How was the funeral?" I asked.

"Everybody is devastated, but trying to act tough. Life goes on," he said.

I had many other questions to ask, but Edward didn't seem to be leaving any time soon.

"Edward, I would like to go for a walk with Jacob," I said.

"But-"he wanted to complain. "Are you sure?"

"He is my fiancé," I said.

"Okay, if anything happens," his eyes moved from Jacob to me. "Call me."

I knew that there was more that he had to add. I appreciated that he stopped himself. It never suited him to be out of control. Bella was waiting for him on the porch. She was the only thing that could sooth him.

Jacob and I started walking. We decided to go through the forest. It was quite chilly outside, but neither of us felt it. There was a pleasant smell of pine trees and sawdust. The forest had now a shiny glow as it was made of glass, but it wasn't beautiful enough to distract me from my thoughts.

"How was the meeting?" I asked.

He grimaced. "Leah will still be Leah. Actually, she reminded me of an animal in a cage. The only reason she didn't bite my head off or Seth's, for that matter, on the spot was because there were too many people present."

"So you're not on such good terms?" I asked.

"Not, exactly," he shook his head.

"And….?" I nudged him to continue. "Talk to me, Jacob. I want to know everything."

"Well, I met him. It was okay I guess, rather exciting. Leah wasn't pleased with it."

"How did he react?" I asked him. I wasn't disturbed at all, more like concerned.

"He is a calm person, I can tell. He loves his mother, that's why he hadn't insisted on meeting me. I can't blame him for Leah's selfishness."

"I don't think its selfishness," I said. "More like protection."

"Whatever you say, Nessie," he rolled his eyes.

We stopped next to a fallen tree. The storm last night was brutal. He sat on that tree and pulled me to sit on his knee.

"He said he is ready for life here, but he isn't sure about Leah," he continued. "I am not sure if he liked me or not."

"You just met him!" I said. "You can't expect him to like you."

"That's very helpful," he looked away from me.

"Hey," I pulled his chin back up. "Whatever it takes, I want to help. I want to make this easier for you," I gave him a soft kiss.

"You already are," he kissed me back. The next few minutes we just sat without speaking to each other.

"So, what's his name?" I suddenly asked.

"Beau," Jacob simply said. "Beau Harry Clearwater."

"Ah, I see," I said.

"I was thinking about taking him fishing with me and Billy tomorrow."

"That's a great idea!" I exclaimed.

"You think so?" Jacob looked up at me.

"Sure, I do. Do you need any help with it or," I enthusiastically continued.

"Nessie," he took me by the hand. "I really appreciate what you are trying to do, but understand that I think that he is not ready for you, yet."

"Oh…" I looked at the wet grass under us.

"One day soon you will get to meet him; both of them. Just not now. I need him to get to know me, now," he said.

"I understand."

His grip tightened around my waist. I ran my hand through his long ebony locks. His lips met mine and it was all bliss after that.

He walked me home later that day. He had to go back to help with the requiem. Edward was waiting for me. Bella was nowhere in sight. I think he specifically told her not be there while we talked. It was always difficult talking with him in moments like these.

"Renesme," he called for me.

"Yes, Edward," I came inside the living room.

"Don't you think I will always let things to stay like this," he said.

The manner he said it upset me. "It's really not up to you."

"I can't allow that idiot to come here and mess around with my family under my very own eyes. I will not tolerate it."

"Are you suggesting me to move?" I shot back at him.

"How could you think that?" just as I had foreseen he was taken aback. "I would never allow it, but Jacob. I do not want to see that liar in our home."

"Tell me, dad, do you care about me? From time to time when you're not distracted with Bella?" that was low, but he was getting on my nerves.

He did not reply. He shook his head. "Why was I ever 'blessed' with such stubborn women around me?" he said. "I do not want to speak to you, Renesme. I can't stop you from doing what you want even if it is above my own pride. You have utterly disappointed me."

He wanted to leave.

"Edward, wait!" I called.

"Not now," he dismissed me with his hand. "I tried talking with you. Just give me time."

I watched him leave. It was heartbreaking, especially for me since I had a beating one. Suddenly I felt out of place in that house. I had to get out. I couldn't race back to Jacob. He had specifically told me not to come to La Push during that day. The only place I could think of going was the beach.

I ran for the beach. I ran and didn't look back. I didn't think about anything. I kept babbling some song so that they couldn't track me down. When I got there it was almost dark. A very early twilight indeed. I think it was because of the weather we were having. The wind was blowing my hair in different directions. Taking my shoes off, I stepped on the soft sand carpet. I left a funny trail behind me. Looking back I realized just how small my feet were. The sound of the waves was so melodic no wonder any instrument can't imitate it. I walked until shore, the whole beach was deserted.

As I walked along the shore, I noticed that I wasn't alone. Not far from me, close to some freshly trimmed logs was someone else. A Quileute, no doubt. I stopped to study him. He was tall and large, similar to Jacob and the rest of the Indians. But his hair was cut short and it was pointing in all possible directions like a pleasant dark disorder. His skin was also russet, but only a tad brighter. His long fingers held a book. He was wearing a pair of thin rimmed rectangular glasses. As the wind blew from his direction, I felt a smell of burning perfumed sticks. It was funny as I sat there watching, noticing in the same time that the sun was rapidly fading away.

There may have past, seconds, minutes or even hours. I just sat there feeling the waves crash against my skin, looking at him an inhaling the intoxicating scent. For a moment he raised his eyes up from the book and looked back at me. I felt strange and ashamed and quickly turned to look at the horizon. It was already dark. I turned my eyes back to him, but he was already gone.

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One more to go or so before the actual story. First chapters...


	3. Dinner

Ah, the night. You have no idea how the forest smells at night. It is a sharp awakening scent. Only vampires and well, I can feel these things and appreciate them for their true value. As I came within on mile radius from the cottage I felt him. His scent was in the air and I heard a whistling sound. He wasn't being careful. I took only a few more steps and he was in front of me. I looked up at him and I did not recognize him. His golden eyes were twice the size they usually were. His lips were ajar, but no sound was made.

"Edward?" I slowly came up to him. He was heavily breathing; gasping. Vampires do not do that. I placed my hand on his cheek. It was smooth and cold as ice like polished diamond. "It's okay. I'm here," I said giving him a concerned look.

"Renesme?" he looked at me.

"Yes, I'm here."

And then he hugged me. I felt his cool forehead resting on my shoulder. He breathed in my scent as if to make sure that I was there for real. It felt strange. We don't usually have these close moments. He probably sensed my thoughts because he pulled away.

"Don't ever do that to us again," he said resting his hands on my shoulders.

"Okay," I said in a low voice.

"Ever," he said.

"I won't," I nodded and we continued to walk back. We didn't speak; just enjoyed the silence of the night. From time to time we heard an owl hum; otherwise it was just the quiet pleasure of being around each other.

Bella was waiting for us on the porch; a relieved smile on her face.

"Hey," she opened the door to make space for us.

"Hi," I awkwardly looked at her.

"Where were you?" she asked.

"The beach at La Push," I answered.

"You see? We had no reason to be worried," she turned her attention to Edward.

"Of course we did. Renesme, I don't think you understand how unique you are. Many persons do acknowledge it and they get scared and try to hurt you. You mustn't run off like that, alone," he said.

"I don't want to be a lab rat," I said.

"You're not," Bella said.

"Yes, I am. If it's not one of you two, it's Jacob or Alice or whoever. I can take care of myself!"

"She doesn't understand, does she?" Edward had frustrated look on his face.

"Edward…" Bella said. I could understand her. She had to play referee between us.

"Who was that boy?" Edward asked.

Even I was startled. I barely noticed how the image of the stranger on the beach crept back into my mind.

"Nobody," I replied. "A stranger, I happened to see him."

"Are you sure?" Edward carefully eyed me. Surely he didn't want to miss a thought.

"See? That's why! That's why I feel like a lab rat. I am never alone; not even with my thoughts!"

And with that I stormed back into my room. I wasn't in the mood for it. A good four hours of sleep would calm me down. I thought I heard Jacob coming back to our house. He was probably out there looking for me. He came inside my room, but I wasn't ready for a conversation with him so I pretended to sleep. I don't know when he left, but I'm sure it was not too soon.

I was arranging some flowers in a vase when Jacob came to our house the next day.

"So how was fishing?" I asked as I cut the stem of a pink rose.

"It went well," Jacob said. He was sitting on a chair watching me. "Well, I don't think he's into fishing, but it was a good thing to bond over."

"I'm glad. How's Billy?" I asked not very satisfied with the abundance of white roses. I decided to take some out.

"He's fine, what can I say. Coping with Sue's death…" he continued to study me. I wasn't feeling very comfortable. You never get used to these things. "By the way…"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering…" he trailed. "Well, Beau said that he would like to meet my fiancé…" he said.

I looked up from my work and felt a gap in my stomach. "That's interesting," I managed to say and returned to my work.

"So I was wondering if you would like to come for dinner tonight. You know, at my cabin. It will be you, me, Beau and Leah," he said.

I continued my work. Jacob's cabin was not far away from our cottage. It wasn't big or impressing, but it felt cozy. I liked it there. Of course, he didn't usually stay there. Sometimes he went and slept at Billy's place. He needed Jacob, even though he would never admit it.

"Okay…" I said. I wasn't so sure of myself anymore. "Do you want me to cook dinner?"

He gave a small laugh. "Sorry, Nessie, but do you even know how to?"

My brows furrowed for a moment. True, my mother did cook for me. "You're underestimating me."

"No, it's just that I don't want you to go through all that trouble."

I had finished my work. The way I arranged the roses looked like a delicate flower with a pink middle and white petals. Picking up the leftover stems I went up to him.

"I want to. If it is important for you, then it is important for me."

"Nessie, Nessie," he placed an arm around my waist. "What am I ever going to do without you?"

I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Just then, Edward came barging in the house.

"Maybe I don't feel comfortable with _my _daughter going to a household of werewolves," he coldly said.

"I'm not making her," Jacob goy up.

"Try to understand that I am concerned," he said.

"But I want to go," I stepped in. "I would like to be included in the conversation since it's about me."

"Renesme," Edward said. "I can't believe that after all the previous events you still want to be with him. This man-"

"This man is willing to put his life on the line for me. This man lives his every second with me as if it were his last. This man is going to marry me. This man loves me more than you could ever love Bella!" I yelled. My voice was so high and so strong that the vase on the table broke.

Edward's expression changed from angered to confused. I wanted to cry. Instead I left the house. I could hear Jacob behind me trying to apologize.

"Get out of my house," Edward said in a low voice. "Get out!" his cry was similar to a thunder.

Jacob caught up with me. We were on our way to his cabin.

"I tired reasoning with him."

"I know."

"He's going to forgive you," Jacob said.

"I am not sure," I said with an even voice.

"About me, I'm not so sure of," he shrugged.

"Nonsense, you're adorable," I smiled.

"And I'm sure Edward thinks so too," he laughed." He can't stay upset forever. It's pointless."

I frowned.

"You're his daughter," he continued. "And the bad part is that he's right. You shouldn't be here now, walking to my house willing to make dinner for me and my illegitimate son."

"Don't call him that," I said. All I had on my mind was freedom.

"Fine," he opened the door for us. "See what you can do with what's in the fridge. If you can't find anything, just order something."

"Okay."

"I'm going to head back to the reservation. I'll come back later on with Beau and Leah. See you later."

"Bye," I waved as he left.

I felt better after Jacob had left. Finally, a moment alone with my thoughts. I absentmindedly wandered through the house. What I had done and what I had said was unforgivable, but I had other priorities now. While I rummaged through the fridge, I found fish and more fish and some vegetables. In the cupboards he had a serious supply of rice. So that was my only option: rice filled fish with vegetables. Being half-vampire had its advantages. I wasn't as clumsy in the kitchen as I thought I would be. Not even at all. I grinned to myself as I cut the vegetables in perfect slices. Then a certain thought raced back in my mind. The stranger. I suddenly wanted to know everything about him: his name, his age, his thoughts, the book he was reading. I could go back some day and see if I find him there. I blame it on isolation. Other than the coven and the pack, I knew nobody and nothing. I was still half-human, I needed to socialize, but my parents didn't seem to agree.

I arranged the plates at the rectangular table in the living room. Three hours later I was in front of the mirror. I would have preferred to have changed my clothes. I wasn't sure if I was dressed appropriately. I was wearing your everyday pair of jeans and a pink T-shirt.

"Nessie, I'm home!" I heard Jacob's voice.

It was now or never. I was entering a new stage in my existence. Willingly or unwillingly I had to be ready. I made my way to the vestibule.

"Good evening," I said before I instantaneously froze.

No, it was not because of Jacob or that woman Leah. It was because of Beau. Because he was my stranger; the stranger on the beach. I didn't know what to do or what to say.

"Hey, Nessie!" Jacob's voice made me return to reality. "These are Leah and Beau Clearwater."

"Hello, Leah," I smiled. She just nodded.

"Hello…Beau," I was slightly unsure of myself.

"Hello, Renesme," he said in a low and husky voice.

"Wow! This is great!" my Jacob said as he entered the living room. "What are we having for dinner?"

"Fish and vegetables," I answered. "And if you would like we have berry syrup."

"That would be lovely," Jacob said. The others didn't answer. That worried me a little.

I came back and placed the bottle on the table.

"Enjoy your meals," I said. Jacob was already eating.

I took my time. I wasn't that fond of human food. Leah's face was shadowed by her very long and silky locks. I felt jealous of her dark russet skin, the expressivity of her cheeks and the color in her eyes. As I grew older the color in my own face left me. I needed to wear make-up. Leah was beautiful, naturally beautiful. My eyes fell on Beau. I now had the change to study him the slightest detail. Like I said his skin was a tad brighter than Jacob's. He was also muscular and tan. He reminded me in some way of Jacob. But they were different. Jacob's features were rounder, warmer, and brighter. Beau's face was angular, his lineament sharper. He had a pronounced jaw line and prominent cheekbones. His hair was short and messy, dark as a raven's feather. And his eyes…the same dark hue, but burning with life; flaming like the sun at sunrise. He was common, yet very different to me. Very late I realized that I was gaping at him.

"What's the matter, Beau?" Leah asked him. She had a deep and slightly hoarse voice, I would say due to chain-smoking.

"I'm not very hungry," he looked at the plate in front of him.

"Yes, well this is not exactly the meat real men eat," Jacob said.

"Indeed," Beau grinned as if he was savoring an inner joke.

Leah gave him a concerned look. "Relax," he said.

"How do you like living in La Push," I asked him. I could swear Leah gave me a nasty look for even daring to talk to him.

"Small," he answered. "Very small."

"You're not accustomed to small towns?" I asked as I gently sliced the fish.

"Well San Diego is like a hundred times bigger than Forks and La Push together or more," he arrogantly said. "You do the math."

I smiled and turned back to my plate.

"We could go to Port Angeles or even Seattle sometime, if you want," Jacob said.

"The boy just got here, Jacob," Leah said. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Okay…" he shrugged. He breathed in deep. "There are quite a lot of people in Seattle."

"Five hundred ninety two thousand eight hundred people," I sweetly smiled.

"Nice place you got here," he said looking around the room.

"I built it," Jacob proudly smiled.

"And the smell…" Leah's eyes ran over me. "It's so refreshing."

Jacob frowned.

"I don't spend as much time as I would like to here," Jacob continued. "I usually go to Billy's."

"Really, now?" Leah asked.

"Really, Leah," he said in an event voice.

"I didn't think you recalled anyone's existence, for that matter," she continued. I knew the conversation was revolving around me.

"Leah, stop it," Jacob said.

"No, you stop it!" she said. "Stop pretending that you care. All of you just stop it."

"Don't go there, Leah," Jacob patiently continued, but I could feel that he was losing his temper; a thing he did not usually do.

"Go where? I was just giving the kid a heads up, before he starts getting delusional."

"Leah, stop it!"

"Why? You sure didn't when…" she trailed off.

"I'm trying to be a decent person down here."

"I didn't come back for you!" she got up. I was frightened by her action.

"Well it sure as hell seems so," he continued.

"Jacob…" I wanted to say. I wanted everyone to calm down for a moment.

Leah left the house.

"Don't you run away, Leah Clearwater!" he stormed out after her.

I looked after them. I didn't dare to move from my seat. Beau was starring at me from across the table.

"Nice eyes, by the way," he said.

The statement astounded me.

"I thought they were supposed to be black or golden, but they're brown," he continued.

"Thanks," I said.

"I'm sorry if-"I wanted to say.

"You're a darling, but I usually don't go for the prude type. We both know that the one who should be apologizing is her. A thing she won't do, mind you."

"Then excuse me if I was educated in that manner," I looked at him. I was expecting him to excuse his mother, but no such thing occurred. He didn't even seem concerned about what had just happened. He kept staring at me with an amused expression on his face.

"Getting married with Jacob," he continued. "Big love, huh?"

I did not know what to reply. "The wedding is due this summer."

"That's an awful lot of time for you two lovebirds," he continued.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I said that by the looks of it Jacob could marry you right now. Well if he weren't busy arguing with mom about pointless things."

"It concerns you."

"Like I said," he shrugged. "Pointless things."

His detachment perturbed me. He was nothing like the others. He really did seem not to care.

"I can see you don't care either," he propped his elbows on the table giving me a wolfish grin, baring only little of his teeth.

"Oh, I do. Quite a lot," I gave him a serious look."

"I wish you wouldn't," he lazily got up. "We have forever to change our minds."

"I think destiny made up hers for us," I was quoting almost half of my family and Jacob.

"You don't seem to believe in it that strongly," he walked outside. "You are not what I had expected, Renesme Cullen."

I followed him to the porch. In the clearing right in front of the cabin he phased. He was just as huge as Jacob only that his fur was black, very black, silky black, with some blue hues. I leaned by the doorframe admiring his transformation. He gave a high pitch cry before running off to find Leah and Jacob in the woods.

I closed the door and started to wash the dishes. I will probably sleepover at Jacob's tonight. I could see the moon's reflection in the stainless surface of the sink. Beau Black. I had already figured him out: trouble. Trouble for Jacob and trouble for our small patch of heaven. Trouble for me…


	4. Wedding Preparations

When I woke up it was something like four in the morning. Quite late for me since I went to sleep at ten o'clock. I quietly went downstairs. Jacob was lying on the couch, his long feet sticking out. I wanted to put a blanket over him, but then I remembered that he didn't need one.

I went outside. The chilly mountain breeze hit me hard. Shivering I looked outside. Silence. The sky was bright blue with thousand, millions of stars on it. I could see the shapes of tall dark pine trees outlined on it.

"So you're awake," I heard Jacob's playful voice behind me. He was leaning by the doorframe, yawning.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked not moving.

"Nah," he shook his head.

"Is there any need to ask what happened?" I looked at him.

"Nessie, I'm sorry you had to see that. Please excuse Leah…" he trailed off. "She's just," she paused looking for the right word and in some way I knew he wouldn't find it. "Leah."

He looked out into the forest. He always was this way when he ever talked about her: thoughtful and confused and now even more.

"I understand," I came up to him. Placing a hand on his cheek, I pulled his face closer to mine and claimed his lips. At first he was hesitant, but then his arms were wrapped around my waist like iron chains. My hand was tangled up in his thick long locks. It seemed like ages since we had last been like this. It felt strange. I kissed and I kissed, not being satisfied with myself. As if I owed him more; much more.

He paused; gasping. I hugged him.

"I want to hunt," I whispered in his ear.

Letting me down from his grasp, he nodded. A second later he had already turned into a wolf. I myself crouched I prepared to launched into the woods. Sunrise found me feeding off a wild animal, although I did not know who was wilder. Me or the bear?

Later that day we went to the big house. Wedding preparations. Alice was bouncing all around the living room with a tailor measure around her body. She wasn't very happy when she saw us. She narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose.

"You shower," she looked at me.

I went upstairs to bathroom. When I got out my favorite pair of jeans was waiting for me on the bed and a new purple shirt dress. Alice. I smiled. I had to quickly dry my hair. Of course, I needn't to set it or anything. My auburn curls started to delicately outline. I wavered a little when I saw the make up on the vanity. Perhaps a little more color wouldn't hurt…My hands were heading for the powder box, when the door banged open. My fingertips slid and the box fell on the light pink rug.

"I knew you would want this!" Alice jovially stepped in.

She came next to me, picked up the box, gathered all her make-up and devilishly grinned at me.

"May I?" she asked.

"You really do like rhetorical questions," I rolled my eyes. Her eyes sparkled; clearly she wanted me to ask her. "Do your worst."

"Gladly," she looked for the blush. I could fell the brush softly going up and down my cheeks. "I am going to take your measurements for the dress after this," she continued applying make-up narrowing her eyes from time to time.

"Did you take Jacob's?" I asked.

"I didn't get the chance to," she said. "He left after you went upstairs."

"He left or did you shoo him away?" I asked.

"Would you like rose pink or plum?" she asked showing me to lip glosses, her smile never altering.

"Pink. Come on, Alice," I said. "Not you too."

"The situation is quite difficult," she sighed as I puckered my lips for her. "And you, young lady, are not making it any easier."

I rolled my eyes.

"Don't think I don't know what you had done to your parents. And what I see," she shook her head. "Not pretty at all. Not wise at all."

"What do you see?" I anxiously asked. I really, really wanted not to upset my father and therefore my mother.

"I see you moving in with Jacob," Alice continued.

"You know how awkward it gets when someone listens to your thoughts all the time," I said.

"I know," she paused. "But Edward is a gentleman. He never would have said anything, whatever it was that you thought."

"I'm not…ready. To go back. Not, yet."

"Do you want to come and stay here?" she asked me.

Now that was a thought. "Maybe, I'll think about it."

She paused, with eyes wide open, then shrugging. "Not going to happen."

"I'm going to also take Esme and Rosalie's measurements."

"No Bella, huh?" I asked.

Her brow furrowed. "No, not yet. But they'll come round, eventually."

We returned downstairs. Everybody in the house was in the living room. Jasper was standing on the sofa. Rosalie, next to him, was looking over some magazines. Emmet was talking with Esme while she watered the flowers by the window.

"Alright, everyone!" Alice clapped her hands. "Our future bride is here."

They all turned and smiled at me.

"Future bride who still hasn't chosen her bride's dress," Rosalie pointed out.

Sighing, I got up on the chair Alice prepared for me. She then started running around me, taking measurement, writing them down on a piece of paper. She was very fast, faster than me anyway.

"Rose…" she showed her the empty chair when I go off.

"Aha…aha…" she said. "Ninety- Sixty- Ninety."

"Wow, just like last year," Emmet said from where he was standing.

Alice glared at him.

"Emmett," Esme elbowed him. "Don't spoil the moment." She then came next to me on the couch and looked over my shoulder. "Found anything, yet?" she asked me.

"I don't know…" there were so many dresses.

"Did you get a chance to look over the magazines from London and France that I got?" Alice asked me as she nudged and pinched.

"Not yet," oh boy, more and more magazines. It was so hard just to pick a dress.

"And then we'll have to look for shoes, and jewelry and lingerie!" Alice squealed with excitement.

"Alice, you're terrifying the poor girl," Jasper said.

She didn't reply. Instead she reached out for her mobile phone. It didn't even ring, but I knew better.

"Hello," she answered. "Yes, this is Alice Cullen. They're in? Yes. Thank you very much," she snapped her phone shut. "The wedding invitations are done!"

I gulped.

"Wonderful," Rosalie said from her chair.

"Too bad I can't go for them right now," Alice looked disappointed.

"I'll go," I said. Everybody in the room stared at me.

"That would be really nice, but I'm afraid everyone's busy," Alice continued. What is wrong with these…vampires? Why can't they just get a grip? I can fend for myself. I want to fend for myself.

"I'll just call Jacob," I got up. "He'll be excited about it."

I went to the foyer, put on my boots and grabbed my bag. They all followed me there.

"Are you sure?" Esme asked me.

I nodded.

"Oh, c'mon give her a break. She's twenty years old for crying out loud," Emmett said.

I gratefully smiled. At him.

"You call that wolf and grab those invitations," he gave me a high-five that could have pushed me five feet under the ground.

When I got out, I ran. I was glad it was all over with, but the absence of Bella and Edward troubled me. I was unhappy because of it. Surely Alice and the others will try and reason with them. I unfortunately wasn't strong enough to. I was very careful in avoiding the area of the cottage. In no time I was already back at the cabin. Jacob was nowhere in sight. I leaned against Jacob's shinny black car. How I hoped to ride all the way to Port Angeles. I played with the keys in my hand. I wouldn't dare leave without their permission. What a coward I was…I sighed.

"That's a really nice ride you got there," a voice had startled me. I dropped the keys on the pebbles. I recognized the voice.

Beau Clearwater. He was carelessly staring at me from up a tree branch. No normal person could get there.

"How long have you been there?" I asked him.

"Ten minutes or so," he looked at his watch. "Things got boring down at the reservation. I decided to take walk until down here," he continued.

There was at least half an hour by care to get to the reservation. It must have taken him over an hour to get here.

"Jacob's at the reservation," I said.

"I know," he jumped off the tree and on the backseat of the Jeep. My heart stood still for a moment as the car rocked back and forth from the impact.

"Really, really, nice ride," he ran a finger over it. "A 2007 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon."

I had no idea what that mean. "Whatever," I shrugged. He kept admiring it while the wickedest idea came into my head.

"Hey," I charmingly smiled.

"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow at me, so annoying, yet so appealing.

"Wouldn't you like to take it for a ride?" I asked him.

"Would I ever," he longingly looked at it.

"I was planning on going to Port Angeles anyway," I trailed off. "So if you would like to come…" I looked in a different direction trying to act careless.

"What now? Are you aloud to go there without supervision?" he asked.

I frowned. "Of course. Since you don't want to come…" I opened the door from the driver's seat and hopped in.

"Oh, but I do," he came up to me and casually leaned against the hood. "Is there any room left for me," his face came closer to mine. Ah…the scent of burning wood filled the air and I could no longer concentrate. "You didn't say the magic word," I battered my eyelashes.

He leaned even closer. "Please?" I felt his hot breath brush against my skin.

Not loosing myself, I playfully dangled the keys. He reached out for them, but I pulled away. "Ha, ha," I gingerly laughed; the sound vibrating through the forest.

He gave me a sly wolfish grin. I dangled them again. It all but happened too fast. The next moment I found myself airborne pushed against the front seat. My back felt the coolness of the leather dressing the chairs. And on top of me: Beau Clearwater. The keys instantaneously dropped from my hand. I felt his carved muscles, the hotness of his body and the scent…an intoxicating spicy scent like burning cinnamon. It felt so…appetizing that I could have sunk my fangs into his neck on the spot. He looked down at me; smirk in place. I dreamingly watched him dangle the keys in front of me.

"Get off," I sternly said.

"A, a, you didn't say the magic words."

"Get the hell off me before I bite your head off," I said in an irritated tone.

Shrugging, he finally retreated to the driver's seat. Smoothing down my shirt I felt how he started the engine.

"Where to?"

"Port Angles," I said. I was sure as hell crazy.

As soon as the car hit the road a wave of adrenaline shot through my whole body. And it sure wasn't because of the speed.

"Could you please slow down," I said

He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"It's not right," I said keeping my eyes on the road. Everything around us melted into incandescent lights. It was getting close to sunset. I could only see that car and us.

"Since when is something right in our little world?" he smirked at me. The sun bothered him so he looked for a pair of sunglasses. They looked really good on him: a pair of Ray Ban dark glasses.

"True," I said. "But let's try to comply to the normal world's rules from time to time."

"There is no normal world," he looked at me above the glasses' frame. "And besides," he tuned his eyes to the road. "Rules are made to be broken. But you wouldn't know that, would you?"

"I can be a rule breaker from time to time," I said.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that."

"I myself am a broken rule," I sweetly smiled.

"Huh?" he asked me.

"Well…it's not exactly right or moral for that matter for a vampire to impregnate a human, thusly resulted the demon spawn," I continued. "Me," I battered my eyelashes.

"Hm…" was all he said.

I turned my attention to the nonexistent window. The wind played in my curls. It was all so very pleasant. There was a delicious smell of pine tree buds. We didn't speak to each other the rest of out journey until late when we arrived in Port Angeles.

"Where to?" he asked.

"Gibb's Wedding Parlor," I replied and handed him the address written on a piece of paper.

"Why are we going here?" he asked.

"The wedding invitations came in. We're picking them up," I answered.

"Oh…" he said. My brows furrowed for a second. I did not know why I hesitated in telling him and why I didn't want to. I felt it was useless to try hiding it, but still, it felt awkward.

I shook it off when I saw him approaching the small shop.

"Hey, I'll wait in the car," he said.

I nodded and went inside. The guy there asked me to sign some papers before he handed me the invitations. I didn't look at them. I just threw them inside my bag. I just wanted to get out of there. Beau was leaning by the care smoking a cigarette. I took my time and studied him. He was wearing a white tank undershirt and a black leather jacket. He looked…handsome, extremely manly. Of course, I wasn't the only who had noticed. Two girls with linked arms giggled as they passed by him. He just lowered his sunglasses and looked after them.

"Hey, Romeo!" I called. He looked back at me. "Let's go home."

"What can I say, the ladies like me," he shrugged. I wrinkled my nose. "Don't be jealous. You got your very on Romeo."

"I'm not jealous. I mean, c'mon…" I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous."

We got back in the car. I heard his stomach growl.

"Hungry, aren't we?" I asked.

"I'm a full grown wolf. I need to be fed."

My eyes flickered at the watch around my wrist. "I know a place. We can go there. Want to?"

"Just lead the way," he said starting the engine again.

* * *

Okay so...I think the story is heading in the direction I want, I just don't want to make things forced. So I won't be uploading for a week because of the holiday. I hope to come back in force.


	5. La Bella Italia

"La Bella Italia, huh?" I saw him lean over the car door studying the restaurant's firm.

"Yeah," I joyfully got out and came in front of him. "You know, if you want to eat you need to get out of the car. It's not a drive-in," I added.

"Yeah…" he lazily got out. "I was expecting something more…" he shoved his hands in his pockets.

I looked at him over my shoulder. "More what?"

"Lively," he cleared his voice.

I shrugged. "I used to come to this place with my parents from time to time."

"Then what happened?" he asked as he opened the door and entered.

"Then they came here alone and I went out with Jacob," I followed him.

The inside of the restaurant was just as I remembered it. The atmosphere was always cozy and somewhat romantic. Round tables covered with red checked tablecloths were spread everywhere.

"Ciao! Ciao!" I heard an all too familiar voice behind me. It was the restaurant's owner that used to stay at the entrance. "Signiorina Renesme!" he continued. "Piacere! Piacere! Come, come," he showed us further in. "Inamorato?" he looked at Beau who had a frown on his face.

"Oh, no, no, no," I quickly said. "Amico," I laughed.

He shook his head. "Inamorato. You see. Inamorato," he continued.

He went and nudged Beau who took a few steps back. His reaction made me laugh. He was funny trying to act tough even when he did not understand what was happening around him.

"Ragazza," he pointed at me. "Bella," he mused with his hands. "Ragazzo," he pointed at him. "Bello," he continued. "Ragazzo, ragazza," he looked from one to the other.

I started laughing.

"I don't see what's so funny," Beau said. "Did he just cuss me or something?" he looked at him.

"No. Please, stop, okay?" I looked at the old man.

He shrugged and led us to my usual table. It was in a separate part of the restaurant. Not even half of it was full anyway.I watched him put his jacket on the edge of the chair.

"What just happened there," he looked over his shoulder. "Weird."

"I know," I said.

"What did he say, anyway?" he asked me.

"Oh, nothing. Just nonsense," I said.

"Hi, I'm Jade and I'll be your waitress tonight," a small brunette girl materialized out of nowhere. "What can I get you?"

"What would you like to eat?" I looked at him from across the table.

"Well…" he looked over the menu. "Spaghetti…" he said narrowing his eyes. "Do you have sizes?"

"Well…" she blushed as Beau looked at her. "We do have a special menu for you," she looked at us. "We have menu Amore. It consists of a large plate of spaghetti and meatballs and wine."

"Oh, we're not together," I pointed out.

"Yeah, she's marrying my father," Beau carelessly said amused by the poor waitress' face expression.

"I see," she said. "Why don't I bring you two some coke before you decide…" she moved away.

"Why'd you have to say that?" I exasperatedly looked at him.

"I wanted to see her reaction," he seemed very amused.

"Great, now she probably thinks I'm some kind of whore," I cringed.

"Yeah, and Jacob's a cradle-snatcher," he laughed.

"And what role do you play in all of this?"

"I am the angry disinherited son that hates his dad for his hot girlfriend and because he's giving her all the money," he crossed his arms.

"Sounds fair to me," I replied.

"Of course it does," he smirked sniffing the air. The muscles on his neck deliciously tensed as he did so. I tried to concentrate not to lose my focus. Like I had said before, to me he seemed very appetizing.

Before I knew it, the waitress, I forgot her name, was back.

"So have you decided, yet?" she beamed at Beau as she leaned over the table to place the glasses in front of us; her cleavage very 'discreet'.

"Yes, I think we're going to go for the special menu," Beau said in his husky voice.

"I beg your pardon?" her chipper voice was starting to get on my nerves so bad that I almost forgot that Beau had ordered the special menu.

"I said we'll be taking a large plate of spaghetti with meatballs and wine,please," he continued, his warm eyes lingering on me.

"Okay...I thought you...Okay..." the brunette woolly said.

"I'm still trying to win her over," he gave her a charming wink before she left like love-struck zombie.

"You know you are making things a little too awkward than necessary," I said.

"Beg your pardon?" he took a sip from his coke.

"Why did you have to order menu Amore?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Don't take it personal, but I felt the smell of spaghetti in the kitchen and I'm not the keenest guy...you make the connections."

My lips formed a perfect 'O'. Surely I was blushing by now. How silly of me. It was as if I had lived for nothing among the wisest persons on earth,

"Sorry for breaking your little black heart," he lazily snapped his knuckles.

"I'll survive," I cleared my voice. I felt my phone vibrate in my bag. "Excuse me, please," I got up. "I'll just go powder my nose a little."

"Don't be log," he smirked. People oddly looked at us.

I smiled all the way to the restroom savoring the inner joke. Rummaging through my bag I finally found my cell phone. Sixteen calls and twenty text-messages. Calls: three from Bella, five from Alice, two from Rosalie and six from Jacob. Texts: First two were friendly texts from Alice, another three from Jacob that reassured me that it was okay that I took his car, one from Bella that casually asked me how I am, then another two from Alice that seemed a little concerned, then seven from Jacob one from Alice and the last four from Jacob that said that he was coming after me. I bit my lower lip as I looked sideways at Beau. I didn't want Jacob to come here. I winced. The phone started vibrating in my hand. It was Jacob.

"Hello," I calmly said.

"Nessie!Thank God you answered!" he yelled so hard it almost broke my ear.

"Calm down, Jacob," I said.

"Where are you?"

"I'm still in Port Angeles."

"Why? Did you get lost? Car problems?" his qestions came so fast I didn't know what to answer first.

"I'm still breathing," I said.

"Why aren't you home, yet?"

"I got hungry. I'm eating right now."

"Do you want me to come after you?" he hopefully asked.

"No..." I answered. "Jake, I'm fine. I'll be back in an hour, more or less."

"Are you sure?" he continued.

"Yes. Bye now"

"I lo-"

I snapped my phone shut.

When I went back to out table an enormous plate of spaghetti covered the whole surface. Beau was already eating.

"Enjoy your meal," I said peering at him.

He just nodded continuing to eat.


	6. Friends

FanFiction kinda messed up my previous chapter. It was meant to be a little longer. So here is the continuation of the fifth chapter plus the sixth chapter.

* * *

Beau leaned back in his chair after finishing his (our) meal. He brought his glass of wine up to his face and looked through it.

"This place isn't that bad after all," he smiled taking a drink from the glass.

"I'm glad you changed your mind," I answered him smoothing down the hem of my shirt.

"We should come here some other time," the enthusiasm in his voice seemed to knock me out of my senses.

I wanted to yell 'yes', but something stopped me. That something kept telling me it would be wrong. But looking at Beau's goofy grin made me smile and try to soften my answer.

"Yeah, I'm sure Leah would like it here."

His expression changed into a more serious one upon realizing the mistake he made. "Leah? If it were up to her, she'd stay locked up in her room in her pjs eating Indian food all evening."

"But I thought…" I paused. "Well, I imagined since you lived in a big town like San Diego…"

"Oh…" he narrowed his eyes. "Well it wasn't always like that. We lived in a small town near San Diego at the beginning. It was near some kind of forest, meadow, whatever. It was a small community, kinda isolated. It worked out well our first years there, but then as you can imagine there was a problem of age difference. My mother and I couldn't just pose as mother and son anymore and so we had to move out. My mother, she wanted to find another nice and isolated place where we could be brother and sister, but I wanted San Diego."

"That makes sense," I nodded. "But why San Diego?"

I was absolutely unaware of the importance of my question; thusly it intrigued me to see him get all stiff when hearing it. "It was close and I was used to the area. It was a big town where we could get lost in. It just made things easier."

"Leah accepted it?"

"She didn't have a choice," he cleared his voice. "Even though she'll never admit, she needs me. She needs someone. That's one of the reasons I continue to stick around. I lover her, I do. But I think that I can manage on my own. She on the other hand can't. I believe you understand that," he said lighting up a cigarette.

"Absolutely," I nodded. "Do you miss San Diego, though?"

"You ask an awful lot of questions for a vampire, did you know that?"

"Half vampire," I corrected him.

"Whatever. You ask too many questions when we have all eternity for what's worth it."

"Am I putting you in difficulty?" I gave him a childish smile.

"Not at all. I think I miss it sometimes, but honestly when you live forever…" he meaningfully rolled his eyes. "La Push is a pretty quiet place and I don't get to see new people all the time. Not that I mind. I'm not such a fan of conversation, but still there are some major differences."

"Did you have friends there?"

"Ah…yes…a few, what can I say. They weren't exactly true friends or anything. Just people in the high school I attended."

"High school…" I dreamingly said. "I never attended high school."

"Never?"

"Never," I shrugged. "Home schooled."

"Figures," he scoffed.

"The only people I know are my family," I said biting my lip. "But now you can be my friend!" I said in an optimistic voice.

He raised his eyebrow. "Why would I want that?"

"We're bonded by circumstances. We're going to see lots of each other," I continued. "Why not be friends?"

"This friendship you're proposing…" he looked at me through the smoke. "You shouldn't want to be my friend. We shouldn't…but whatever. We have all eternity to change our minds."

I didn't understand what he was saying. It seemed senseless. "That's a little too dramatic. But now we're friends."

"Yes, we are," he crushed his cigarette. "I'll get this one," he gave the little waitress a nod.

We quietly exited the restaurant and stopped next to the car.

"Do you mind driving?" he spoke staring at the dark ground. It was chilly, no less, so he slipped on his jacket.

"No," I climbed in the driver's seat.

Our drive back was very quiet. I enjoyed the nightly breeze playing with my locks. He was looking over the window frowning at some imaginary point in the woods. The silence was uncomfortable. Was it because of me? Was it because of him? I couldn't tell. I was thinking about saying something as we approached the house.

"Can you stop here?" he spoke.

I looked at him. "But we have an hour until La Push."

"With your driving, of course we do. I'd rather walk anyway."

"Why?"

He breathed in probably preparing to answer me, but then he dropped it. "I need to think."

"Okay…" I awkwardly said and pulled over.

I saw him jump out of the car and leave into the woods.

I decided to go the house. Jacob was probably there anyway. I drove a little on the side road, before I saw the house. All the lights were on at that hour. As I had expected everyone was there except Edward.

"What was with you running off like that?" Jacob teasingly gave me a peck on the cheek.

"I didn't run off, I just wanted to get those invitations really bad."

"Well you should have waited for one of us to accompany you," Bella frowned.

"Give her a break, already," Alice cut in. "I don't know about you, but I'm dying to see those invitations," she greedily looked at my handbag.

"You saw them?" Jacob smiled.

"I…" I couldn't just tell him that I was too distracted to look at them. "I wanted to wait for you so that we'll both be surprised!"

"They're wonderful! Jacob, Nessie, come see!" I heard Esme's voice.

Our heads snapped at Alice's hands. The envelopes were pink with a silvery ribbon around them. The invitation wasn't very long. It consisted of a pink paper with two doves holding a little jasmine flower between their beaks.

"Lovely, just lovely," I said.

"Great job, Alice!" Jacob cheered.

"Of course," Alice nodded proud of herself.

"They really are beautiful," I looked to see Bella smiling at us.

I was glad she was happy for me and it tore my heart apart to tell her now that I was intending to move in with Jacob.

"Hey, mom…" I started.

"Yes?" she looked at me.

"Can we talk for a minute outside?" I asked feeling uneasy. Everybody looked at us.

"Sure," she got up.

I followed her not before seeing the disapproving look in Alice's eyes.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Well, I've given though to it and…I think that I can't continue living with you and Edward," I said looking at the wooden plates under us.

"Why?" she said in a disturbed voice.

I didn't answer.

"Does this have anything to do with Edward or me for that matter?"

"No…"

"Then what's wrong? What's happened?"

"I've grown up, I guess. And I'm marrying Jacob so…"I sighed. "I think it's time for me to go now. It's not like we're ever going to part or something," I continued. "And you know Jacob. He'll take care of me and he'll protect me."

"Are you sure you're ready?" she looked at me.

"I thought a lot about it. I'm ready," I looked back at her.

"Oh, Edward's going to be heartbroken," her eyes were bigger and I almost thought that she'll start crying.

"Mom…" I reached out for her and she pulled me in a big hug. We sat there for a while rocking back and forth listening to the wind and the voices of the night.

I knew we never will be apart even though there might be miles between us, we'll always be close.

Moving in with Jacob was a lot easier than I thought. He almost flipped with excitement when I told him. When I got back to the cabin, he cleaned it all up and arranged the upstairs bedroom for me. Edward was quiet about the whole moving out thing. He helped me with my luggage and walked me to Jacob's house. He didn't say "goodbye" or "see you soon". He left exactly as he came-quiet. Jacob hung around the bedroom while I unpacked. He didn't have a lot clothes, but neither did I so we both fit in one wardrobe. As I was placing my other things on the vanity I heard him say.

"I'm so glad you're here."

The phrase seemed to be stuck in his head because he repeated it every time I placed a new item on the table.

"I'm glad I'm here too," I smiled in the mirror.

He came up to me and sat on the low chair.

"That's us," he pointed at the mirror. "Forever," he said in a warm voice.

I smiled. Forever…the word had never seemed to bother or worry me until now. He started kissing my neck slowly advancing up my jaw line, my cheeks, and finally my lips. His hands went up and down my back. I let him kiss me without moving giving into to the passion overwhelming him. His hands went up to my button-up blue sweater and gently started undoing them. I watched him quietly as he removed the piece clothing. He remained staring at me. I wore only a white bra, nothing too sexy.

"I'm sorry," he got up. "Sorry," he left the room.

I watched the door slam and started buttoning up. I felt neither embarrassed nor anything similar. It had to happen naturally. I couldn't say I was expecting it, but once it came, I was willing to give myself without any second thoughts. I owed it to Jacob. He had been patient with me. He gave me my time.

During dinner he was very quiet. I stood at the other end of the table watching him; playing with my hands.

"Done," I heard him say.

I got up to wash the dishes, but he stopped me. "Let me handle it."

"Fine," I warmly smiled and watched him act so careful and so confined around me.

Quietly we left the kitchen. The decisive point was when we got in front the staircase.

"I'm going to call it a night," he terribly faked a yawn. He slowly turned on his left leg and went for the living room.

"Wouldn't you like to come upstairs?" I asked.

"I really am tired," he said pressing his lips together.

"You can sleep there if you like," I went up the stairs and he followed me.

My hand rested on the door knob as I waited for him. He was breathing heavily, unusually nervous.

"Are you sure?"

I didn't answer. I just opened the door and let him follow me in our room.

I woke up at seven in the morning the following day. I sat in front of the vanity wearing my white dressing gown and combing my hair. Being with Jacob was blissful. Perhaps I had my fears and doubts before, but he turned out to be even more nervous than I was which resulted into him being ever so shy and gentle. I saw his reflection in the mirror. He was fast asleep; sheets in a general mess covering him. I watched his dark bare torso moving up and as he breathed. For a moment I remembered of Beau and the strange similarity between them. It was wrong thinking about another man while watching your undressed soon to be husband.

Two weeks had passed since I had moved in with Jacob. For two weeks I have been running about the house, tidying up, cooking and being with Jacob. Sometimes we would stay all day in the forest side by side until night came. Now he was in La Push and I couldn't find anything productive to do. The truth was that I couldn't find anything that could make me stop thinking about Beau.

Port Angeles meant a lot more to me than it should've. The truth was that the past days I kept searching for things that would distract me and help me not to think about him. He was my friend now, but he hasn't showed up in days. I needed to see him. I left the house and took a shortcut through the woods in order to get there.

When I arrived to La Push, I didn't know where to begin with. First of all I didn't have any excuse to be there so I had to think of something, then I didn't know how okay it would be if someone from either of the packs saw me.

I wanted to cross the street to the local store, but I stopped. He was there and he wasn't alone. He was with two other guys that I didn't know. He was laughing and smirking. I wanted to go up to him. I wanted to talk to him. With a determined look on my and a security in my feet that I barely recognized I went up to them.

Upon seeing me, his smirk faded and he tightened his jaw. His friends curiously looked at me. He came forth and placed himself between me and them with strange scowl in his eyes.

"Hi," I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Hi," he said.

"How are you?"

"Fine. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came here to…to surprise Jacob," I quickly said.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh."

"Yeah," I nodded.

Just then a car pulled in front of the store. I could not see the driver, but Beau's two other friends emerged inside it. Beau stood there looking at me. I bit my lip. I wanted to say something, but couldn't.

"Hey, Beau, you coming or not?" one of his friends called.

"Be right there!" he called in a high voice. "Well…" he said in almost a whisper.

"Well…"

"See you around," he turned.

"Beau!" I called.

He looked at me.

"I've moved in with Jacob. Come visit us some time!"

"I know," he answered without looking at me.

The car vanished and I sat there still watching it. I thought we were friends.

* * *

Boring, boring, but thank you all for being supportive!


	7. Garden Party

Hey, remember me? I'm that weird fic you read, well my author finally found the time to get around and finish me. I hope you haven't lost interest and hope, yet. Thank you!

* * *

I decided I had wasted too much time parading around La Push. Jacob was not going to like it, but I just had to do it. I guess now I knew where we all stood. I was grateful not to see Leah. Jacob would have not liked that either. In our conversations about her, he stated that she was a difficult person and not even he knew how to handle her. I parked the car just in front of Billy's house. He was resting on the porch and kindly waved in my direction.

"Hey, Billy!" I came up to him.

"Why, Renesme, you're getting more beautiful every time I see," he said looking at me.

I smiled shaking my head. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," he nodded. "Just resting on my old porch. It's very rare for you to come. I hope everything's alright."

"Everything is just peachy," I grinned. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "I have some leftover stake from last night."

"Sounds yum," I smirked wheeling him inside the small house.

I left him by the table as I rummaged through his almost empty fridge. We heard the door open and Jacob come inside the house.

"Renesme!" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Warming up lunch," I smiled. "Want some?"

"Sure," he exchanged a confused look with Billy.

"What have you been up to?" I casually asked as I placed the plates on the table.

"I was out helping Seth with something," he quickly answered.

"Have you seen Beau around the house?" Billy asked him.

I hid my face behind my locks as I concentrated on the food.

"I haven't really…that fishing trip didn't go so well…" he answered.

"You should invite him over," I suggested.

Jacob had a confused look on his face.

"I mean…he's your son. You do what you think is right," I continued taking the food from the stove.

"I've seen him with that Uley kid," Billy said. "He came over once or twice and Cameron Uley came to pick him up. That kid's bad news," he continued.

"How so?" I curiously asked placing the stakes in their plates adding an extra two to Jake's meal.

"Dad's exaggerating."

"I know what I'm saying," Billy corrected him.

"Let's have a house party," I suggested. "It's a good opportunity to get to know Beau better and meet his new friends, even consolidate you severed bond with Leah," I said taking a bite from the hard stake.

"Since when were you so interested?" Jacob carefully eyed me.

I frowned. "I'm just trying to help."

"That's a good idea," Billy seconded me. "I'm dying to see the house."

"I don't know if he'll come. The situation is pretty messed up and I don't think Beau will feel any better if we organized a party for him."

"I understand," but I was not going to give up without a fight. "Tell him it's a party for us and tell that I asked for him to come."

"What?"

"No, really," I fearlessly said. "Just say that I would really like him to be there. You need to keep family close, Jake. This might work."

Jake smiled. Finally. He leaned and kissed my forehead. "Thanks."

"Renesme?" I heard Billy's voice.

"Yeah?"

"Can I get an extra?" he showed me his empty plate.

"Sure," I got up.

Jacob encouraged me to go ahead. As soon as I got to our little cabin, I saw Alice waiting for me in the front yard.

"What's this I hear about a party?" she gleefully rubbed her hands.

"You're fast," I smiled. "Yes, we're organizing a party for our new house."

"Excellent. We need to get started right away. Ugh, you need to do something about this lawn," she narrowed her eyes.

I shook my head. With Alice here, the party was in the bag.

Alice was amazing. Well, she and ,a bored forced to help, Jasper, who took care of decorations while reading The Art of War. The idea was that the front lawn was barely recognizable after they were done with it. The grass had been neatly trimmed and equal lines of small delicate white flowers were placed alongside the special footpaths. We decided to hold a Swedish buffet just outside the house. Fate was on our side the day of the party because not a single cloud was on the sky and the weather was as warm as it could get which was pretty strange for Forks.

I heard soft music muffled by the sound of voices and movement. I looked at myself one more time in the mirror. Pursing my lips together I tried smoothing my silk shirred empire dress. I tightened the teal belt. It was time for me to go down.

I took in a deep breath. I was very nervous for me, for Jacob and especially for Beau. I started fidgeting with my fingers and heard each and every squeak of the staircase. The warm sunrays met me at the entrance. The first people I noticed were Rosalie and Emmett who were resting on the edge of a bench while Jasper was by them reading once again. Esme and Carlisle were in deep conversation while Alice was enthusiastically chatting with the other guys from Jake's pack. They had weird expressions on her face and I couldn't help but appreciate that she was making and effort. My eyes darted to the fence where Jacob was greeting Beau and another person I had yet to meet.

I saw that Beau noticed me from where he was standing. Of course he gave a suspicious look which I countered with my crooked smirk. He decided to ignore me. Jacob had a nervous smile on his face when he brought them at the table.

"Reneseme, this is my nephew John," he introduced the person accompanying them.

"Rachel's?" I asked extending my hand.

"That's right," he warmly smiled slightly gripping my fingers.

"Welcome," I charmingly smiled. "And help yourself," I motioned to the filled table.

"Thank you," he hesitantly went and greeted the others.

"Nice place you got here," I heard Beau's voice.

"Why thank you," I smiled battering my eyelashes. "And might I say I am pleased to see you came."

"Oh really?" he smirked flashing his sharp teeth.

"Really," I answered. Trying to control the blood rushing to my glowing cheeks I twirled on my heels to allow him take in my attire. "Enjoy your meal," I poured over my shoulder.

He shook his head and just took out a cigarette from his pack.

Alice came beaming in my direction. "Things can't get any better."

"Any predictions for the night?"

"I have a little surprise for you," she winked.

"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure I wanted any surprises this night.

"All in due time," she chimed. "You've got some guests."

I looked towards the entrance and couldn't believe my eyes. My mother was here and she wasn't alone. Behind her, with an even look in his eyes was my father.

"Bella!" I went and joined hands with her.

"Renesme," she said. "What a lovely garden!"

"Thanks," I smiled. "Edward."

"Renesme," he looked at me. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I answered. "How have you been doing?"

"I'm…good," he said. "You made this place really nice compared to how it was before."

"I didn't do it by myself," I said. "Come. Everyone's waiting."

He accompanied me to the other guests. Bella had a happy smile on her face. Out of all of them she was the most expressive. She had quite a lot of humanly inclinations such as eating food even though it tasted like dirt to her. I saw Beau's friend, John, shyly looking at the food. He looked quite uncomfortable.

"Well go on," I piped behind him.

He took a step back and shyly smiled.

"I know it may look a bit strange, but I guess it's delicious. I made it."

"Oh…" he placed a small spoon of salad.

"Eat before those guys raid the whole buffet," I pointed to the boys speaking with Jake.

My family formed a circle around Billy. I was happy, but I couldn't see Beau anywhere.

"Renesme," Alice came up to me. "We're a little low on refreshments."

"Oh," I said. "Right, I'll go get some more."

"Do you need any help?" she asked me.

"No, Alice, enjoy the party," I encouraged her.

It was twilight and the house was dark, but my eyesight helped me a lot so I needn't turn on the lights. I walked to the kitchen when I smelled the smoke. It was a familiar smell. I curiously looked inside the kitchen. A silhouette was resting by the window looking at the grey sky.

"Beau?" I said a little too loud.

He slowly turned as if he knew I was there. A cigarette was sticking out between his lips.

"Why are you here?" I asked. "Don't you want to join the party?"

"It's too…" he looked in another direction, "Noisy. I don't like it. I don't like it when people stare at me like I'm some freak-show."

"But you're not-"and I stopped because he would have considered me a hypocrite. "I know how it feels. Leah probably told you about what happened when I was born," I came closer to him.

"Yeah," he said in a husky low voice that gave me shivers. My hands curled into fists and I bit my lower lip. I am being overwhelmed by this feeling of thirst whenever I'm near him. This is not normal since he is a werewolf so I wonder. How would it feel if I'd just sink in my teeth in him just a little? Would it taste good?

"Are you listening?" I heard his voice.

"Sorry?" I asked with a confused look.

He smirked. "Nothing, it doesn't matter."

So we stood there just staring at each other. The air was getting heavier. I heard someone clear their voice. We both saw Edward waiting in the doorway.

"Edward," I said.

"I came here to help you carry refreshments," he evenly said. "Beau."

"Edward," he answered throwing his cigarette out the window.

I felt embarrassed and I didn't know why. Actually, I felt embarrassed for Edward for walking in on what I considered an intimate moment.

The rest of a party had been a blur for me. All that I can say I remember is that everyone felt good. Jake was pleased, but something clouded his thoughts. I think that Leah's absence was the cause.


	8. The Invitation

I'm such a lousy updater...but seriously should I continue or not? Have you forgotten or not? Does it suck or not? It does, doesn't it?

* * *

The weather grew colder the next few days. We barely felt it, though. I bought a few cooking books and decided to try and do more elaborate things than macaroni and cheese. I was a great at it, but there was no surprise there. Due to my condition, I was good in almost everything I tried. At the moment, I wasn't being good at picking a bride dress. I sat on the couch as Alice and Rosalie paraded in front of me in their lavender dresses.

"We are the cutest bride maids, Rose!" Alice squealed.

Rosalie smiled at me. She sensed that I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Yeah, they're great," I answered.

Alice placed her hands on her hips. "Okay, you're annoying me," she pointed in my direction.

"Why? I think they're lovely!" I innocently smiled.

"Not about the dresses. I know they're lovely. I was talking about your dress."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm still looking…"

"You're very distracted, Nessie!" Alice said. "I know you're going through the love buzz now, but you need to focus."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"C'mon, Alice," Rosalie said. "They're young and in love."

"Almost too in love for my taste," Alice bickered.

She was very annoyed, I could tell. I wasn't sure why, but I don't think that I was more in love with Jacob that I've already been. My feelings remained unchanged. I knew there was something up with me. I felt a strange anxiousness from time to time.

"So, did you pick your dress?" she sweetly asked.

"Stop pressuring me!" I snapped. "I have all eternity for what's worth to get married!" I jumped to my feet and stormed out of the room.

"How did the-"Esme tried saying as she saw me pass by her.

I ignored her and left the house. I stomped all the way through the forest. Suddenly, I didn't like the pressure they were inflicting on me. Why did I have to marry so soon? Why did I have to pick so soon? Maybe I wanted to go to collage or maybe I wanted to travel. Maybe I wanted to leave somewhere else. They were all planning things form me. I stopped in front of my parents' cottage. Bella was home.

I knocked on the door.

"Renesme?" Bella answered.

"Hey, Bella, can I come in or are you busy?" I asked.

"Sure, come in," she made way for me. "Something happened?" she escorted me to the living room.

"Is Edward home?" I asked before taking a seat on the couch.

"No," Bella shook her head. "Did you and Jacob fight?"

"No," I answered. "It's about Alice."

"What did she do?"

"Well, she keeps pressuring me to pick a dress."

"The wedding is soon, Renesme," Bella said. "And you know how excited she gets…"

"I know!" I cried. "But… I feel like… I mean I don't…" I looked at her with lost eyes.

"What?" she softly asked.

"I don't know if I want to get married this soon. I think I'm too young."

It took her all the effort not to laugh. "Marriage isn't such an important thing as long as you both want the same things," Bella said. "Do you?"

"Well…" my eyes rested on my hands. "Jacob has many things to do here. I should stay by his side, right?"

Bella nodded. "If that's what you want."

"I would like to travel a little. Maybe study abroad…" she rolled her eyes. "Maybe try high school…"

Bella's eyebrows furrowed. "You are way past high school level. Why would you want that? You can ask any of us to teach you anything you want!" she insisted.

"I know…but…I want to try life," I hesitantly said.

"I don't think I understand."

"Well you know I'd like to live in a city and study and go to parties and clubs and…make friends."

"Are we not enough for you?" Bella continued to ask.

"I didn't mean it like that! I just…."

"Nessie," she patted my shoulder. "I know how hard this is for you. You love Jacob and that's all that matters. I was the same when I was supposed to marry your father, but he swept me off my feet."

I nodded. She didn't get it, but I didn't want to scare her any longer.

"Now, how about we look over some fashion magazines?" she asked.

I nodded again and waited for her to come back with the magazines. I spent three hours there. We narrowed our choices to two dresses. One looked much like the fairytale princess dress; the other was very modern-just above the knees, strapless. Bella liked the modern one while I liked none, but I chose the fairytale one because it seemed logical to want that kind of a wedding. Just as Bella was arguing her choice, Edward entered the house.

"Hey," Renesme stiffened.

"Hello, girls," he shoved his hands into his pockets. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"We're picking out a dress!" Bella enthusiastically said.

"Oh," his gaze fell on the magazines sprawled on the coffee table.

"We're trying to pick between this one and this one," he shoved the two magazines in his hands.

"Whichever do you like?" he looked at me.

"I'm not sure," I brushed my fingers through my hair.

"Well," he smiled. "I think that…" he put the two magazines away. "I think this one suits you better."

He took out a magazine stashed under the pile. It illustrated a simple empire waist dress. The cleavage looked okay even though it was bit deep. The simplicity fascinated me. It was plain and even…traditional.

"Edward it's perfect!" Bella cried throwing her arms around his neck. "What do you think?"

They both looked down at me with a wide smile on their faces.

"I love it," I nodded.

"Great!" Bella clapped her hands. "This is so exciting!" she dashed out of the room.

Edward longingly gazed at me.

"Cold feet?" he asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "It's not that."

"Then what is?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

"I want you to be happy," he sat next to me. He closed his eyes. "Even if that mean that I'm not exactly happy."

He smiled. "I am happy."

That night, Jacob sat with me in the kitchen as I cut vegetables for the salad I was making. He had a hungered look in his eyes. The smell of steak was torturing him. He whimpered.

I smiled. "Only a little longer."

He grimaced. "I work all day!"

"Jacob Black, if you don't contain yourself, I'm feeding your steak to the dogs," I scolded him.

He laughed.

"Okay, okay, whatever you want," he got that lovesick look in his eyes again.

"So, um…" I trailed off. "I finally picked out a dress today."

"For real?" he had a goofy smile on his lips.

"Yeah, want to see?" I casually asked.

"No!" he cried. "Its bad luck for the groom to see the bride's dress before the wedding."

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, did you get a chance to speak to Beau today?" I asked as I mixed up the vegetables in a bowl.

He scratched the back of his head. "Not really. He passed by my in La Push."

"Did he say anything about the party?" I poured olive oil over the blend.

"No, but I did ask him," Jacob answered. "To which he replied that we have a nice place."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks to Alice."

I took out two plates and put them on the table. I brought the steak and put it in the plates. It looked better than any restaurant in the world I thought to myself.

"Dig in," I encouraged Jacob.

"Don't mind if I do," I immediately started eating. "Delish!" he moaned.

I giggled. "So I was wondering," I trailed off. "Did you invite them to our wedding?"

Jacob almost choked on his food. "No," he answered. "But I don't think that they would like to come. Leah isn't a fan of weddings."

"It would be impolite if we didn't invite them," I thoughtfully said nibbling on my food. I was curious about Beau's reaction to the wedding.

Jacob shrugged. "I guess I will."

"I'd love to invite them!" I insisted.

He stared at me. "That's not a good idea, Nessie, and you know it."

I gave him a disappointed pout. For a moment I thought I heard his heart break.

"Leah is difficult…"

"Yeah, I know!" I angrily snapped. He got only sadder. "Listen, Jake, if I don't try and mend things with her then how are we going to spend all of eternity in this society?" I argued. I was exaggerating, I knew, but whatever, I really wanted to the expression on Beau's face when he'd know for sure that I am getting married.

"Okay…" he said. "If you insisted."

"Thank you," I clapped my hands. "You won't regret it."

And we continued eating in utter silence that the only sound I could was the wind in the trees and a beating of a million hearts which I identified to be my own heartbeat.

Early morning, the other day, I brought Jacob breakfast in bed and even cooked his favorite meal- hot dogs. I was wearing a rather frilly yellow summer dress and a poppy hat with a blue bandana around it and a fake flower.

"Come eat with me," he pulled me by the wrist to which I complied.

I sat with him in bed resting my head on his warm chest as the sunlight filled the room. I wasn't about to blow my chances of getting to go Beau's house today, but upsetting Jacob. I gave him a long passionate kiss before he left to fix some things around Billie's house. I could hardly wait to leave for Beau's, but then I remembered pour Leah. Dropping the news on her wouldn't be easy so I decided that I should make a strawberry cheesecake for her.

It was after lunch that I was finally done. The timing was good. They probably just had lunch in family and were either getting ready to rest, but were not entirely asleep so I hurried to La Push. Their house was a bit hard to find. It was further than La Push and I needed to take a path between the woods to reach the small cabin with a bench near the porch and with a river flowing behind it. It was a perfect place to spend eternity. Better than my house, anyway. I felt my stomach turn the moment I opened the gate and entered the lawn. Leah already knew I was there do to her fine sense of smell. I rapidly walked to the door before I changed my mind. It flung open just as I was getting ready to know.

"What do you want," an enraged Leah glared at me.

She was intimidating. She was taller than me and her eyes sparkled with distain, her lips were twitched into a bored grimaced and her hair was caught in a messy braid.

"Hey," I smiled. "How are you?"

She looked at me as if I were retarded. "Just peachy," she answered. "Now seriously, what do you want?"

She was very offensive, but I tried. "I brought you a cheesecake."

"You brought me a what?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Cheesecake," I shoved the casserole in her hands.

She dumbly looked at me. "What gives?"

"Think that I can come in?" I smiled.

I thought for a moment, and then said. "Why don't we sit on the bench?"

I was a bit disappointed since I was curious about her house, but politely accepted. She went inside to leave the cake. I waited for her on the bench.

"You have a very nice place here," I looked around.

"Thank you," she answered.

"I love the river."

"It's a big cliché of a dream house, but whatever," Leah shrugged although I could sense the pride hiding behind her words.

"You built it?" I asked.

"My brother was supposed to move here," she answered.

"Oh," I nodded.

"I haven't got all day, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop beating around the bush and get to the point."

I was a bit scared now. "Isn't Beau around?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What do you have to do with my son?"

"Nothing!" I quickly said. "I was about to ask how he is!"

"He's out," she growled.

Leah was losing her patience while I was losing my enthusiasm.

"I came here because," I took out the invitation. "I would like to cordially invite you to my wedding," I smiled.

Leah stared at the invitation before turning red with anger. "Leave…" she growled.

"I know we've had our differences, but I would really like you to come," I insisted.

She was fussing. "I said leave!"

"I would really like us to be friends…"

"Get out!" she snapped.

I got up to my feet. She was losing it.

"I…"

But she was slowly starting to morph into a wolf.

"Sorry!" I cried before running out the gate.

All I could hear behind me was a savage howl.

I spent the rest of the day working around the house. Jacob was late to dinner so I stood by the windowsill and looked at the stars thinking about the wedding, the dress, Alice, Leah and Beau. I almost had a hear attack when a pair of sharp black eyes appeared right in front of mine. I stepped back ungracefully falling on the kitchen floor. Beau climbed through the window; an unhappy scowl on his face.

"What were you thinking?" he asked.

"I was being polite," I answered.

"Seriously, my mother would have gladly killed you today," he continued.

"I doubt that she could."

"Don't underestimate her," he came closer. "Why go through all this trouble. What's you game? What do you want?"

"Nothing!" I snapped. "I just want us to get all along! Why can't we?"

"You're getting married!" he cried. "To Jacob of all people. How do you think I cope with that?"

"He's been in you life for only five minutes!" I argued. "Why should you be so upset!?"

We glared at each other. He looked away.

"You're right, why should I be?"

I wanted to speak, but he wouldn't let me. "Sorry for bothering."

I watched as he walked away. There was definitely something wrong with him. My heart ached. He didn't care so why should I?"


	9. Oblivious Billy

Moving on slowly, but sure. I don't know what came over me.I'm enthusiastic over the next chapter. This is more of a filler and hinting Jacob and Leah's relationship and how they get along.

* * *

It had been a restless night. It didn't rain, but it felt like it. I winced every time thinking that there was something tapping the window. Every time it was either the window or some little bird. I pretended I was sleeping when Jacob came late that night. I left dinner in the kitchen for him. At the beginning he threw his arm over my petite figure, but then opted for a more comfortable position on his right side. I'm sure that he didn't move for the rest of the night. He was very tired. I fell asleep close to dawn, but woke up with Jacob.

I tiredly smiled in his direction as his strong hands snaked around my waist and he playfully propped his chin on my chest.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I said.

"Hey, beautiful," he looked at me with loving black eyes that made my heart melt. I was being ungrateful. I wish he would stop staring at me like this way. I'm being consumed by my incapacity to look at him the same way. "I have some good news for you."

"What is it?" I asked.

"The reservation is hosting a festivity next week," he smiled. "Isn't that great?"

"Yeah?" I smiled. "That's nice."

"So you want to go, right?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip. Jacob was either really oblivious, or he was simply ignoring the fact that no one in La Push can stand me. The ones who didn't know about my species issue saw me us 'Billy Black's boy ugly white girlfriend'. Indian women were so protective over their men.

"Jacob, you know that no one there wants to see me," I answered.

"That's not true!" he defensively said. "Who said that?"

"They don't need to say it. I can feel it. I can see it in their eyes," I replied looking away.

"You're reading too much into it, Renesme, they love you!" he reassured me.

I scoffed.

"And if they don't…" he smirked. "Then I absolutely do," he gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"I know," I lovingly looked at him. "And besides…Sue's death. Don't you think it's a little too soon to party?" I asked trying to find a loophole.

"I know, but Seth's even more enthusiastic than I am. He said that he knows that his mom wouldn't want us to weep over her. Life goes on."

"I don't know what to say," I looked outside at the warm sunrays.

"Listen, if you don't want to go, it's cool," he said with a disappointed voice. "We can hang out at the house or whatever," he shrugged.

I sighed. He crawled off me and pulled on a grey shirt lying on the floor. He stared outside. I could see his eyebrows furrowing in the window. It broke my heart to see him like this. He loved me like crazy and I didn't do anything for him.

"Jake," I called.

"Hm?" he turned on his heels.

"I'd like to come," I said.

"For real?" he cried.

"Yes, for real," I laughed.

"Oh, you're amazing!" he jumped and lifted me from the bed.

"Jacob!" I cried.

"Thank you! Thank you!" he twirled around the room holding me tight to his chest.

"Okay, put me down now," I said.

"You're the best," he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"How about you take a shower while I start breakfast?" I asked.

"Sure. Love you!" he went to the shower.

I pulled on my white dressing gown and floated downstairs. I opened the window and let in the chilly morning breeze envelope me. I felt so fluid. Even though the sun was high on the sky, the weather was particularly humid. October was coming soon. I cooked some eggs and bacon for Jacob. I looked outside at the last flowers I was going to see in my garden this year. I decided to go barefooted and pick some flowers for our table.

"Wow, this is fancy," Jacob commented.

"Cut it out," I said. "Don't you like to have a pretty table?" I asked.

"As long as you're here everything just seems ugly and uninteresting," he answered. "Aren't you eating?"

"No, thanks," I answered.

"Would you like to go hunting these days?" he asked.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he answered.

Just then, I remembered that he returned awfully late last night.

"Is everything all right in La Push?" I asked.

"Sure, why?"

"Well, you came back late last night. Billy's okay, isn't he?"

"He's fine," he shrugged. "I tell you, that man's going to live more than us," he nodded.

"Where were you?" I asked.

He hesitantly looked at me. "I told you it was a bad idea to invite Leah."

I had a confused look. "Oh, so you went to see her."

"Y-yeah," he replied.

I gave him a funny look. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Things didn't go so well?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," I answered. But then my eyes fell on the scar on his neck: three deep scratches. "You two had a fight?"

"More like she tried killing me," he answered.

"Oh, my God," I shook with fear remembering the menacing look in Leah's eyes when I went over. "Beau wasn't there to cool things down?"

"He was happily munching on the cheesecake you brought them. He didn't even move a finger to stop us."

"My God," I picked up his empty plate. "Was she this aggressive with Sam?"

He pursed his lips. "It's not the same thing. She loved Sam."

I quizzically looked at him. He had a frustrated look.

He clicked his tongue trying to act cool. "Leah doesn't love me."

"I get that much," I replied placing the clean plate in the cupboard. "You don't exactly try to kill the person you love."

"Right…" he said.

There was something bothering him. I decided not to insist.

"What are Beau's feelings towards the wedding?" I found myself asking. Fortunately, he didn't get the excitement in my tone.

"He couldn't care less."

My eyebrows furrowed.

"We're strangers to him, Nessie," he said. "What do you expect him to do?"

He was not a stranger to me. He was supposed to be my friend. I didn't like what was happening.

"Have you seen the garden?" I asked.

"It's pretty," he answered. "Compared to Billy's."

"Oh, yeah, it's full of weeds," I said. "Hey, I have an idea!"

"What?" he enthusiastically asked.

"Why don't I come with you today and look over his garden?" I suggested.

"I don't know if you in La Push is an idea," he protectively said.

"C'mon," I begged. "It's going to be fun."

"I don't think so, Renesme," he answered.

"But you can't keep me here alone all day, Jacob!" I yelled.

"You're lonely?" he asked. It thought I heard his hear break.

"A little, yeah. Maybe just bored," I hesitantly answered.

"Oh, baby," he wrapped me in a bear hug. "I'm sorry."

"So are we going to La Push?" I looked up at him caressing his cheek.

"Yes, we are," he replied with a lovesick look.

I opted for my favourite pair of jean and a red and white long checked dress shirt. Even though it was autumn, I decided that a poppy hat wouldn't be inappropriate. If only Alice could see me now. Jacob was patiently waiting for me in his car.

"You look gorgeous," he whispered before we took off.

It had been a pleasant ride. I enjoyed carelessly resting my arm over the window feeling the breeze against my skin as I dreamingly looked up at the sky. Perhaps we will meet Beau when we get in town. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out to be that way. We passed the main street and I spotted his friends, but not him. I pouted. Suddenly, Jacob stopped the car. He slowly pulled it into the driveway.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He sniffed the air. "Something's not right."

He jumped out of the car and stomped towards the house. The door flung open only to reveal Leah fuming in the doorway. They both glared at each other. I gracefully got out of the car and walked up to them. I thought I heard Jacob snarl.

"Jacob! Nessie!" I saw Billy inside the house. "Wonderful! Come in!" he waved at us.

Jacob gave me a wary look before we went inside. The smell of burning wood instantly hit me. I felt my stomach churn. Beau was also there. He didn't bother look at us and continued eating. Leah's movements were tense and sudden. She and Jacob look as if they were ready to jump at each other's throats anytime. It didn't worry me that much. I was more worried about the butterflies in my stomach as I peered over at Beau. He didn't spare me a glance. I bit my lower lip. He was angry.

"Now isn't this nice," Billy happily said. "I was just telling Beau here to hang out with you more, Jake," he patted his back. "That Uley kid ain't nothing but trouble."

To that Leah nodded.

"Grab yourselves a plate," Billy encouraged us.

"I'm not hungry," I got up and went to pick up plate for Jacob.

"I can get it myself," his strong hand pressed me back to my chair.

He seemed to be in a constant glaring competition with Leah. I wasn't about to interfere.

"So, Renesme," Billy looked at me. "How is Bella doing?"

I thought I heard Leah scoff.

"Bella is fine," I answered.

"And you? How are wedding preparations coming along?" he happily asked.

To that Beau's head expectantly snapped upwards.

"Great!" Jacob replied. "She has already decided on a dress."

"Oh, really?" Leah cynically asked.

"Yes," Jacob answered. "It's going to be a beautiful wedding, I can tell. On a sunny day in March-"

"We hope you two will come," I cleared my voice.

"Sure they'll come!" Billy cheered.

I was starting to thing that Billy's age was getting to his head. He had to be beyond oblivious not to sense the tension in the room.

"How are you doing, Billy?" I asked.

"Great! The people I love are always by my side such as now," he smiled. "Jake is here all the time taking care of my house."

"You slave driver," Jacob growled.

"But he hasn't done a good thing with the garden, if you know what I mean?"

I looked outside the window. Ages had passed since it had been weeded. I got up. "I can do it for you."

"Nessie, there's no need to-"he wanted to stop me.

"It's okay; I'm not eating anyway," I went outside, took the basket and started weeding the garden.

I looked once and saw Beau looking at me envious that I found a way to get out of there. This whole meeting made me feel trapped. Sometimes I just wanted to get away. I would imagine myself moving to another town and starting all over. That would be hilarious. Edward said that I was too spoiled and that I wouldn't survive, not even a second. I laughed to myself.

"What's so funny?"

I froze. My head shot up and I met Beau's curious black eyes. He puffed out some smoke from the cigarette he lit.

"That's a cheap way to get out of there," I commented.

"Better than you anyway. Weeding the garden, seriously?" he raised an eyebrow.

"At least I'm doing something useful," I snapped.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Do you always look like this?"

"Like what?" I asked taken aback.

"Do you always glow?"

"Oh," I stared at my fingers. "Not really…" I shrugged. "I guess the sun is just bright today."

"Isn't it?" he smiled at the sky and closed his eyes.

Just then the door shot open. Leah had a menacing look in her eyes. She instantaneously morphed and ran away before any of us could react. I saw Jacob follow.

"Leah!" he cried.

He turned to and followed her into the woods. I sighed. I though that Beau would go after them. Instead he crouched next to me and whispered. "Let's get out of here."


	10. Fight

It was awkward, strange and bizarre. Thinking back now, I have no idea what was in my mind when I accepted Beau's proposal to get away. I guess that since everyone is doing whatever they please, I should do the same. So if Leah decided to throw a fit and if Jake took it upon himself to go after her, my leaving with Beau shouldn't faze anyone. I hope. I thought I heard Billy vaguely calling out to us. I should have stayed and do his dishes. Oh, well, what's done is done. I can't go back and change things. I took a deep breath. Not that I would want to change anything.

I closed my eyes and let my head fall. The sun on my skin was wonderful, almost nurturing. I rested on the cool grass and a light breeze played in my creamy locks. It was heaven. I heard the forest. I felt the forest. The scent was intoxicating: a discreet perfume of pine tree and clear water and burning wood. I opened my eyes. He sat next to me on a log smoking a cigarette.

"I heard smoking's not good for you," I said.

Beau shrugged. "I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon."

"Still not healthy," I replied trying to sound interested.

He smirked. "It is one hell of a nasty vice. I started in high school and couldn't stop."

"High school," I repeated. "What's it like?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well," I curiously looked at him. "I've never attended high school."

"That's strange," he snickered. "Well, just like in films," he said. "Lots of interesting courses held by frustrated teachers, cliques, social dating, and prom."

I gulped. "Social dating?"

"Yeah," he answered. "The jock can't date the weird cello playing chick because it looks bad."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he looks better with the cheerleader."

"So…" I carefully picked my words. "If you were to like a girl."

"Yes?"

"Who wasn't in your clique," I continued.

"Yes?"

"Who is already dating someone that everyone thinks is perfect for her."

"Yes?"

"What do you do?" I asked.

He took in a deep drag. "Leave things as they are."

"But you like this girl!" my eyebrows furrowed.

"I guess," he shrugged. "But if I don't pursue my feelings, I won't fall in love with her or crazy stuff like that."

I bit my lower lip. Perhaps I was too transparent. But now even I am wondering where I'm going with this.

"Have you ever been in love?" I shyly asked peering at the spotless blue sky.

He sighed. "No, not like you and Jacob are."

I felt my stomach churn. "How do you know that's love?"

He smirked. "I guess I don't, obviously."

I groaned. I hated being so predictable. I knew nothing of love; I knew nothing of the world. Beau seemed to be a book of knowledge.

"So do you love him?" he asked.

"Sure," I answered. "I don't think I need to tell you that he is a great guy."

"Sure," he sarcastically said. "My mother and I couldn't agree more with what you said back there. Why, Jacob Black should have a statue built in his honor for deceiving slightly neurotic heartbroken Leah."

I frowned. "I get that you're not taking it too well."

"No, I'm not," he harshly said.

I propped myself against my elbows to glare at him.

"Don't you give me that look, Miss Perfect."

"Could you please refer from calling me that."

"Please, don't act all affected. Tell me when you encountered any problems with the world. Better yet, when did you have any problems except upon picking a stupid wedding dress?"

"It's not stupid!" I cried. "You don't know what you're saying!"

He scoffed.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm really, really sorry!"

"Sorry is not good enough!" he barked.

"At least I apologized! You never apologize!" I furiously stood up.

"Because I haven't done anything!" he got up on his feet and was only inches away.

"I'm not going to feel guilty for your misfortune," I growled.

He smirked. "I can tear you apart here and now if I wanted to."

I growled. "I'd like to see you try, dear."

I gave him a powerful push. My fists felt as if I hit marble. He almost lost his balance. Almost. When did it get so dark, I don't know. What I do remember is that the last thing I was before I got airborne across the patch of grass was his sharp fangs.

"Get off me!" I cried trying to move underneath his strong arms.

"Make me!"

I sneered. "You do not want that, mutt."

He gritted his teeth.

We angrily stared at each other. He felt so warm and alive that the only thing on my mind was to bite him hard. His bare shoulder was almost inviting. I pushed his face away with my claws and bit him. I didn't get to sink my teeth too deep.

"Ouch! You crazy, bitch!" he cried.

He got up and gently caressed his shoulder. "Shit!"

I wiped the blood away from my mouth. "Told you…"

He shoved me out of the way. He had a very angry look.

"God, I wish I could hurt you!" he cried.

"Then do it!" I yelled.

He paused and bit his lip. He shook his head. I stared at him. What was in my head?

"Please say something…" I whispered.

"I…" he wanted to say, but instead he shook his head and leaped away into the night.

"Beau!" I called after him. "Damn…"

* * *

Short, short and rushed. I'm stuck in a rut. I have these new ideas for Gossip Girl that I would like to try. I would really like to get back to that fandom.


	11. Edward Knows

So I suddenly had inspiration. Why not? Life is full of surprises.  


* * *

I shamefully returned home. It was already night. I was expecting to find Jacob angrily tapping the kitchen table, but to my surprise he was nowhere to be seen. So I got off easy for what I had just done. Thinking about the previous events of the day, I wasn't exactly sure what I did wrong. It could have been the fact that I left Billy's house without helping him clean up or it might as well be the fact that I shared a not so friendly moment with another man; to be more precise with Jacob's son. I tiredly pressed my back against the wall. After our little fight I went running until I thought I lost my way.

I remembered that Jacob left with Leah. Maybe they got into a physical fight and he got injured. Somehow I wasn't anxious at all about him being with her. I was more anxious about the fact that Beau ran off and we didn't get the chance to talk about our little quarrel, if you could call it that. It worried me that it wasn't a regular fight. Regular fights didn't include shoulder biting. Our fight was bordering on erotic and he felt that.

I find it bizarre that I am more attracted to Beau than I ever was to Jacob. They're both werewolves and they look alike so why am I acting like this? Why isn't Jacob enough? I crawled to my bedroom and pulled on my sleeping gown without taking a shower. That night I didn't sleep. I wasn't exactly sure why. I couldn't tell if it was just one of those regular sleepless nights or was the Beau issue keeping me up. I tried focusing on my dress, my family, my wedding, but nothing worked. That was wrong. Maybe I'm simply rushing into things.

Jacob came back early that morning. I closed my eyes thinking that he would come up and cuddle with me. When an hour passed and there was still no sound, I ventured downstairs. I found him calmly sitting at the kitchen table fumbling with his fingers.

"Jake?" I propped myself against the doorframe.

"Hey," he weakly smiled.

He was shirtless and barefooted while his jeans had holes in them. He was sad. Something was bothering him, or exactly someone. The Leah Clearwater issue was finally starting to get to him. He was starting to crack. Normally, I would have gone up to him and hug his stiff shoulders trying to sooth him with my gentle hands, but I felt dirty after what I had just done the previous night. I carefully tiptoed around the room and took a seat in front of him. He didn't even eat.

"What's up?" I smiled.

He sighed. "Listen, Nessie," he started. "I think I'm going to stay at Billy's for a while."

I suddenly stiffened. "Something happened? Is he okay?"

"He's fine," he replied. "It's just that…things are sort of complicated right now and I really need some time alone to figure out next what is best for us," he tried smiling.

My eyebrows furrowed. I wasn't quite grasping this. Jacob never ever wanted to be away from me. He said that he would rather die than not see my smile every day for at least a minute. I was starting to dislike this Leah character. She was starting to get on my nerves for a lot of reasons. I was in no position to complain since I wasn't quite innocent either.

"Okay," I replied.

He stretched over and grabbed my hand. "Thanks." He didn't even ask me whether I was sure it was okay.

He got up and yawned while stretching his arms.

"So I take it that it didn't go well with Leah?" I asked.

He bitterly laughed. "Leah Clearwater…" and he ran upstairs to pack some new clothes.

I pouted and then I suddenly remembered. "Jake!"

"Yeah?" he came back from upstairs.

"You can't go just yet," I said.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because Bella and Edward are going to come for dinner," I replied.

"What?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You know that Edward has been difficult, but Bella finally convinced him to loosen up and the idea of me moving is starting to grow on him. Still, he would like to do a traditional daughter's parents come for dinner kind of thing," I explained. And it was true. Bella gave me a phone call a couple of days ago and she was quite excited about it that I couldn't say know.

Jacob thought for a moment before lowering his head. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to do this alone."

That left me speechless.

"See you soon," he gently kissed my forehead and left.

I bit my lower lip and looked around me. It was a sunny morning outside and I was all alone.

Since I had no one to cook for, I decided to dedicate my newfound alone time to reading hip women's magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Vogue. I also checked out the wedding decorations catalogue Alice sent me, but soon got bored with it. That evening, Bella gave me a call.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, honey" she said.

"Hey, Bella, how are you?"

"I'm fine. I just called to check if we're still on for tomorrow," she continued.

"Sure," I unenthusiastically picked the remote.

"And how's Jake?" she asked.

I paused. "He's fine."

"Will he be joining us?"

"Bella," I sighed. "Have you been speaking with Alice?"

"Alice knows this is important for Edward so she decided to give me a head's up. She said that she saw Jacob moving in with Billy."

"It's only temporary," I quickly answered.

"Why?"

"Mom! He's got a lot of things going on and he just needs time, you know. To work things out," I explained.

"Aren't you supposed to work things out together?"

"It seems that now he needs some alone time. Nothing I can do about it."

"So should we still come over?"

"Sure," I answered.

My mother seemed unsure.

"For Christ's sake, Bella, we're a modern couple. Plus, Edward just wants to see the place just to make sure it's not a hellhole. He might even be delighted that Jacob is not here."

"If you say so…"

"I know so," I replied. "So I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, honey. Bye, I love you!"

With that I shut the phone and pushed it as far away as possible frowning at my loneliness. I needed Beau right now. We needed to talk right now. I shook my head. I wasn't going to make the first move. If he wanted to act so mysterious than so be it. On TV there was The Young and The Restless. I watched it until late at night trying to block away any other negative thoughts.

The following day I cleaned the house twice just to make sure that Edward would be completely satisfied. I even did the attic where there was nothing really to clean aside from some boxes filled with handmade items. As usual, Edward and Bella were extremely punctual and at seven o'clock they were on my doorstep.

"Welcome," I peeked behind the door.

"Hey, honey" Bella gave me a hug while Edward kept his hands tucked behind his back.

"Glad you could make it, Edward," I charmingly smiled.

He cleared his voice. "I brought you and Jacob a bottle of wine."

"Thank you."

"Which reminds me, where is he?"

"Um, Jacob won't be able to make it tonight," I casually said as I went into the kitchen.

I heard them whispering to each other.

"So, why don't we go inside the living room," I guided them through the house.

"This is lovely," Bella said.

"So why exactly isn't he home?" Edward asked after looking around.

I rolled my eyes. "He's with Billy."

"Ah, something happened?"

"No," I frowned. "He's just staying there for a while."

"So he moved out?" he cooked an eyebrow.

"No," I scorned him.

"Interesting," he smirked.

Bella briefly elbowed him and he behaved throughout the rest of the evening. We had an amiable conversation about the wedding and our family's past activities. It was comforting to have them with me. I managed not to think about Beau until the end of the night. Edward must have been extra attentive to my thinking thread because he immediately stiffened when he caught images of him.

We were in the hallway and they were getting their coats on when he's look darkened.

"Could you please wait in the car?" he whispered to Bella to which she obliged after giving me a goodnight kiss. Normally she wouldn't have done that. Me mother was renowned for her curiosity and stubbornness, but she greatly respected my relationship with Edward.

As soon as she was out of hearing range, Edward directly asked me. "What are you doing?"

It would have been stupid to play dumb with him so I just looked away. "I don't know. I'm going through a rough time."

"Do you have any idea what your actions might lead to?"

He was getting a bit too theatrical for my taste.

"Have you no respect for the holly institution of matrimony?" he asked.

He was way too old fashion, I thought to myself.

"Don't give me that kind of talk!"

"It's none of your business, Edward!" I snapped. "You should try to keep out of my mind!"

"This never would have happened if you were still living with us," he growled.

"Hey, I'm an adult! So I would appreciate if you respected my decisions."

"You have no idea what you're saying," he scoffed.

"Well, if you have a problem with it, leave!" I showed him the door.

"You're walking on thin ice, Renesme," he looked at me.

"I don't care! For once in this lifetime, just le me make my own mistakes."

"I'm just looking out for you," he tried soothing me.

"Don't. I'm not a child anymore. Deal with it," I dryly said.

The conversation was way too aggressive. I rarely had fights with my father. I didn't like it, but he was just too damn stubborn.

"Fine," he said.

"Fine!"

"Fine!" he stomped out.

"Fine!" I slammed the door behind him.

I stopped gasping by the time I couldn't hear his silent car any longer. I looked in the mirror and saw my father's disgusted eyes scolding at me. Was I really that disgusting? He was right about one thing. I had no idea what I was getting into.

* * *

Next chapter, Beau and Renesme finally talk, Jake decides to come home and there's a fair? Pretty much, yeah.


	12. The First Kiss

Among other things, the first snow came towards the end of November. I found it delightful. I enjoyed walking barefoot in the garden hearing the snow creaked underneath my heels. Just as I was studying some possible Christmas recipes, the door opened. And inside along with the freezing November wind came Jake.

„Hello, Nessie," he coolly smirked.

"Jake!" I ran to him overwhelmed with excitement and jumped in his arms. "Oh, Jake!" I smothered him with kisses.

"Hey, hey," he giggled. "I'm glad to see you too, Ness," he smirked. "What's for dinner?"

"Dinner?" I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, dinner, I can get something started. It will only take a minute. Why don't you watch some TV while I'm on it?"

"Sure," he stepped in the living-room, kicked off his shoes and turned on the TV.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked while rummaging through the kitchen.

"Not much. Stuff," he replied.

"What sort of stuff?"

"I've been around, helping Billy."

"How is he?" I asked.

"He's good. Actually," he cried. "He's really looking forward to see you at the fair."

"The fair?" I rushed in the doorway.

"Have you forgotten?" he asked. "The fair, the Indian fair, all La Push is coming!"

"Oh..." I remembered. "Oh!" and Beau's image flashed at the back of my head. "Whatever am I going to wear?"

"Come here, you," he pulled her into his arms and passionately kissed her. "My adorable little Renesme."

Dinner was definitely quiet. The reason of my excitement was that I finally saw someone. Before Jacob came I haven't seen neither him nor Beau. And there was definitely some leftover tension. No matter how much I tried to distract myself, Beau was there in the back of my head. Which is why I chose to wear my favourite warm brown woolen to the fair.

We arrived in La Push hand in hand. I felt that there was something up with Jacob ever since he came home. He just wasn't his usual goofy chatty self. I didn't know why, but it didn't bother me as it should have been. I knew that today was probably going to be a landmark in our relationship which is why I avoided talking to Alice. I hope she will have the decency to keep her mouth shut. I lovingly leaned against Jacob as we greeted Seth and Billy.

"Hey, guys!" I warmly hugged both of them.

"Young lady," Billy gallantly kissed my hand. "Jake," he nodded in his son's direction. "I am very happy now that you got him out of the house. He was beginning to cramp my style."

I laughed. "Seth, how are you?"

"I'm great, Nessie," he smiled.

I understood his reluctance. Leah was giving him a hard time no doubt about it.

"Seth, my boy, please bring me to the other elders. Lets give these two lovebirds some privacy."

"Jake, what's up!" Jake's pack brothers were calling after him.

"Go ahead," I smiled. "It's probably going to take me a long time to get through all of these amazing stands."

"I'll take you on a ride on the Ferris wheel?" he asked.

"I'll save you a seat," I gave him a small peck.

I nervously clasped my hands. I knew that Beau was somewhere around, but I decided to play it cool, make my way through the crowd. Ultimately, he'll find me since he is well aware of my scent. It was a very cheerful event. Children were running around in their sledges, munching on caramelized apples. I bought a few leather bracelets and a few rocks to decorate the house. Later on, I decided to see the specific cuisine stand. I shyly looked at the delicious looking plates knowing that I wouldn't enjoy their taste very much.

"Don't be shy," a smiling lady behind the stand said to me. She had warm eyes and silky long hair. However, there was something about her face which shaded her beauty. She had many scars on it. "Would you like something here?"

"Not really," I smiled. "But...I'd be interested in a recipe book."

She laughed. "That's very sweet, but there is not recipe book. All these foods have been taught down from mother to daughter."

"Where are you from, sweetheart?"

"Ah..." I scratched the back of my head. "Forks, actually."

"Nice town. We have young people coming from there to the beach. Look, if you wish, I can write you down one recipe."

"Hey, Emily, sorry for being late," a young slim girl with thick brown hair appeared.

She had a fox like face and caramel skin, but what was truly fascinating about her were her metallic blue eyes. She ungraciously flopped on the chair behind the stand.

"No problem, Sandra," Emily nodded. "I'll go in the back for a moment."

"So what can I do for you?" she stared at me with her cold eyes.

"Actually, I'm waiting for Mrs. Emily," I replied.

"Okay."

I felt a shiver down my spine as his scent invaded my lungs. I knew the moment that I would turn that he would be behind me.

"Hey, guys!" Sandra waved her hands.

In a moment Beau and Cameron Uley materialized out of nowhere. I took one step back from the excitement. Beau was right there in front of me. He looked ruggedly handsome with his goatee and a beige leather shirt. He stared at me.

"Hello, Sandra, what's up?" Cameron smirked going behind the stand.

"Beau," I said.

"Renesme," he replied.

"You two know each other?" Sandra raised an eyebrow.

"Hello?" Cameron pushed his head forward. "And who is this?" he asked.

Beau sighed. "This is Renesme. She's a friend."

"Cameron Uley. Glad to make your acquaintance," he outstretched his hand.

"Charmed," I smirked.

He stiffened the moment our hands touched.

"I see," he said through clenched teeth. "Beau, may we have a moment?"

Sandra incredulously looked at them leave.

Although they were talking really fast and slow, they were still in view and I could clearly see that they were having some sort of argument.

"Here you are,"I flinched when Emily returned with my recipe.

"Thanks," I grabbed it from her hand.

I felt stupid. All I wanted now was to leave. It was a stupid idea to ever come to La Push. It was obvious that Jake was now somewhere with Leah while I was there. Everyone's fool. I heard a familiar voice calling my name. I didn't look behind. I kept walking faster and faster.

"Will you stop for one second?" I felt Beau's strong grip on my wrist.

"What do you want?" I gritted my teeth. "Aren't you afraid that I might bite you again."

"Renesme, stop."

"Let me go, Beau. I mean it. Coming here was stupid. I mean, it's obvious that...we are not friends and that we can't be friends so I don't want to complicate your life."

He smirked. "When you say we can't be friends is it because you're a hybrid and I'm a wolf?"

I bit my lower lip. "Yes," and I turned on my heels and walked away.

"Liar!" he cried. "Liar!" he cried even harder making the woods shake.

"Are you crazy? What if someone hears us?"

"I don't care. You're a big liar"

"Why do you have to make things so complicated?" I asked.

"Because..." he came closer. "Because they are. And they have been for a while."

"Complicated how?"

"Ever since I met you...I knew I was supposed to hate you; to hate you with the fiery passion of a thousand blazing suns, but I couldn't. Because you simply were different. It's like your not from this world, it's like you're not related to it. You are...so innocent...it's refreshing," he had a pained look.

A moment passed by and I still didn't know what to say.

"Please say something...I'm really trying here."

"You know that..." I started in a contemplative voice. "If I say something...it's going to be end of any balance of normality we thought we had..."

"I know," he nodded.

"And...you want me to...?

He nodded.

"Then...come here," my cold fingers went up his cheekbones and pulled him into a kiss.

It was wonderful. It was exactly all I read about in books and more. It was...perfect.

* * *

Yeah. This story has a whole new normal now.


	13. An Affair

I gently pulled away from the entrancing kiss. I pursed my lips. Suddenly the air felt colder and denser. My eyes were groggy and heavy-lidded as if I had woken up from a long sleep. Beau was as stiff as a board, his piercing black eyes staring straight at me.

"Ah..." I gasped and ran a hand through my hair.

"I should go..." he said.

"Why?" I quizzically looked at him.

"Because..." he looked away clenching his fists. "Because I might not behave."

I gulped. "I see. Come tomorrow."

"Where?"

"My house?" I weakly smiled. "I'm all alone."

"What about dad?" he asked.

I remained silent. "Since when has Jacob become dad?"

"Well..." he scratched the back of his neck. "We have been hanging out lately. He's a cool guy. Been around the house."

I bitterly smiled. "There's your answer. Jacob won't be there."

He smirked. "Maybe I'll drop by."

And just like that he disappeared. I thoughtfully looked down at rocks clad in icy snow. I know perfectly well what I am getting myself into. I do. I thought I didn't. I thought that I was too...little, I guess to fully grasp what I am about to do. But it's clear. I think. There was, of course, one problem to my adulterous ways: Alice. What am I ever going to do about her? I know how to find the loophole in her visions. Of course, only a trained mind can fully master it. The concept was quite simple. Think you're going to do one thing and change your mind the last minute. However, I can barely contain myself. I clutched my stomach. I never felt so jittery.

When I returned to La Push, Beau was nowhere in sight.

"Check you out!" I heard Jacob's voice.

I quizzically looked at him.

He put an arm around my shoulders. "Have you been hunting because you're cheeks are booming if you get what I mean?"

I covered my mouth. "You caught me."

He gently patted my head the way he did when I was little. "So, how about dinner at Billy's?"

"Oh," I scratched the back of my head. "I'm quite full. Rain check?"

"Sure, there's gonna be a bonfire tonight and I said I'd help, but if you're not in the mood for it..."

"Actually, Jake, I want to go home," I bit my lower lip trying to think about what excuse to invent.

"Of course. Go ahead," he replied. He kissed my forehead and I left.

I wandered back home constantly thinking at Jake and I. It is still hard for me to understand his new attachment to the reservation. Before, he could barely wait to leave and stay with me. I worried that maybe Billy was not feeling well. However, as much as I loved him, I didn't like the idea of taking him in with us. Us...hm... we haven't been us in a long time. I wonder if parenthood is something stronger than imprinting. My stomach turned. I didn't allow myself to think of Beau.

When I arrived the house felt very empty. Maybe we should get a dog or a cat or both or two dogs and one cat, three cats and one dog. I decided to change into comfortable sweats and a hoodie Rosalie gave me from Dartmouth. The phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Trouble in paradise?" I heard Alice's voice at the other end of the line.

My blood froze. "H-hey..."

"I just saw that Jacob is spending like his twentieth night away from home. Any thoughts on that?"

"Leave me alone, Alice" I rolled my eyes.

"Sweetie, I don't want to give you a hard time, but I worry."

"Any visions about Leah and their son?" I carefully stressed 'their'.

"You know I can't see them. I can barely see you," Alice's reply came after a two minute pause.

"Well, all this son thing came out the blue. We're having a hard time adjusting to it. So just give him a break, will you?"

"Nessie, I worry. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine..." I pleaded.

"Now, that's enough, Alice..." I could hear Jasper's voice in the background. "Sorry, Ness, she got rejected from the secret services," he took over the phone. "She won't be bothering you. Not if I can help it..."

I could hear Alice squeal in the background. "Thanks, Jasper."

"Take care," he closed the phone.

I sighed. That was close. I can only imagine the drama of my and Beau's...whatever it is. I ungraciously flopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote. I turned on the TV. Reception was pretty bad due to the weather conditions. I'll have to ask Jacob to fix it next time he comes around. I lazily propped my cheek against my hand. There weren't many options: the news, Oprah reruns, The Sound of Music. I decided to go for the third and focused on what the characters were doing. Keeping up with Julie Andrews was hard which is why I almost fell off the bed when I heard a hard thud against the door. I got up and opened it.

"Who is-"I rest of the questioned was blocked. There, clad in an unbuttoned leather shirt and a knit hood was Beau.

He smirked. "Can I come in?"

"S-sure," I let him.

He took off his boots. I continued staring at him.

He chuckled. "Are we going to stare at each other all night?"

"No, please come in. I was just watching some TV," I showed him.

He walked in and sat on the couch. I curled into the other corner.

"So what are we watching?" he asked.

"The Sound of Music," I blushed.

He raised an eyebrow.

"It's a musical."

"Oh, Leah hates musicals," he replied.

"I see, well, we don't have to watch it," I shut the TV.

A moment of silence followed. I nervously dug my nails into my knees. I couldn't believe what was happening.

"Well, you basically killed any conversation buffer," he calmly said.

"Sorry," I apologetically smiled..

"That's okay," his hand outstretched and gently stroked my cheek.

I gave into his touch inching closer to him.

"Hm," he frowned as his fingers traced my neck and rested on my shoulder. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. He pulled me into his arms and smashed his lips against mine. It was a heated guilty kiss. I felt his strong hands swoop me up and pull me into his lap. I panted in between kisses. It was heaven. Outside it was snowing harder and harder. I stopped him when his hand went for my shirt.

"We need to stop."

"Don't you want to?" he asked.

"I do. This is exactly why," I took in a deep breath. "I mean...don't you feel a little guilty?"

He looked away. "I do. Listen, if you want, I'll go."

I firmly looked at him. "I do."

He slowly got up, but I raced after him. "I don't!" I grabbed him by the hand.

"Well make up your mind, sugarplum."

"I do..." I squeezed his hand. "Look, what's happening is that...well you know! You know better than me since you know Leah, you live with Leah! So everything is really fragile and if we do something rash, well..." I bit my lower lip.

"You're not sure about...this," he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," I sighed. I could tell that he was disappointed. "So I want to, but in the same time..."

"You're right, Renesme," he replied. "I don't want to hurt anyone either..." his finger raised my chin. "Which is why it's best that we keep it a secret," he closed the gap between us.

"And apart from all this, there's Alice," I panted.

"The fortuneteller?"

"The same," I nodded. "But it's good...I mean if we continue being undecided, she can't see us," I nervously smiled.

"What about the mind reader?" he asked.

I gulped. "Edward and I are currently not speaking."

He quizzically looked at me.

"But I don't want to get into that right now," I smiled.

"The Sound of Music?" he asked.

"The Sound of Music it is," we walked back in the living-room.

We sat on the sofa and watched TV. He put his head in my lap and I gently stroked his hair. Inevitably, he fell asleep towards dawn. It was comforting just to sit with him in the dim room. He made me feel at ease and at the same time a great tension. I often thought to myself during that night: Maybe this is how love is supposed to feel... And it was something blissful and disappointing because if this is love, then it will hurt oh so many people. I'm not sure that I'm ready for that.

* * *

I am going to finish this, somehow. I like it.


End file.
